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It’s funny how when someone says “I Love You” they might mean it at the time.

Moreover, they might until someone else comes along or they get bored with you.

 

Is it so wrong to ask to find true love or even true passion?

Something, anything, oh my God just anything please.

 

It hurts beyond the burning inside, more painful than the verbal abuse thrown at me when I was younger.

 

All I ask is for someone who cares beyond her own personal agenda.

You say you Love me, but what you mean is you want to love me, another someone else.

 

It’s ok I understand. But let me go so you can find the someone else.

The someone else you think I am to you.

The someone else you want to make me into.

 

You asked me to write a poem about you…I cannot do that without hurting you.

So I write pretending this is not me but merely words I type out so freely.

 

If you wanted to know me, you would read what I write. But you have no interest in reading me; the real me.

You say you support me in all that I do. Did you go see my painting at the college…the one that I showed in my very first showing?

Did you even take the time to walk the 100 feet to at least look at it for the few weeks it was showing?

Did you go to any of the showings?

Did you read anything, anything I wrote?

 

Dose it even matter, any of it?

Or are you afraid to be alone and not find the one you love?

 

Does anything I say or think really matter?

I think you believe down deep inside it does.

But in reality the only thing that matters is that you get what you want, even if you have to chip away at my decisions on any of my answers.

 

Intimacy does not hold the same feelings for me anymore, I don’t care about it, just another chore.

To kiss you seems to be what you want, I don’t care about it.

 

I just want to be left alone and not bothered by anything.

To sit in my own little world where I can’t be hurt by anything.

To some that would be depression.

To me it’s a vacation.

 

The only place I can tell you is in the place you don’t go.

I guess I’m safe here until you decide to peek.

But you never showed an interest in it so I guess I’m safe.

 

You say you support me, and I don’t ask that you read much.

Well I guess I was just wasting my time thinking you would.

 

I don’t hate you or blame you I know I’m at fault for a lot of the pain you feel.

But when I told you I think we are just hurting each other, you threatened to be the biggest b***h if I ever left.

 

So I stay because neither one of us make enough money to make it on our own.

And because you cry if I even mention it, and threaten to hurt yourself, or depression will set in so bad you won’t be able to function.

 

I know you will be all right after everything is said and done.

But you use the weapon that most women carry with them.

It’s a weapon, that has forced more men to do a women’s biding than would admit to it.

 

I guess I’m just a coward.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"Intimacy does not hold the same feelings for me anymore, I don’t care about it, just another chore.

To kiss you seems to be what you want, I don’t care about it.



I just want to be left alone and not bothered by anything.

To sit in my own little world where I can’t be hurt by anything.

To some that would be depression.

To me it’s a vacation."

Wow . I feel some powerful words of disappointment and deep hurt where you lost interest in so many things from all the lies and deceptions going on. Whoa ...That was a good confessional of sorts in sharing the truth ...:)

[ron]

Not deceptions, just...just it is what it is.

[Sami Khalil]

I understand...You are welcome...:)

[s y e]

// Intimacy does not hold the same feelings for me anymore, I don’t care about it, just another chore.
To kiss you seems to be what you want, I don’t care about it. //

This could be more prose than poetry Ron but either way I loved it, you told this whole story within this little poem. There is some really powerful words in here, sentences even and alot of disappointment and hurt. :-( A sad pen from you my sweet friend.

[ron]

Thank you Sye. It takes a while for me to even want to feel but when I do it's hard to keep my emotions from pouring out

[s y e]

No point keeping them in Ron. You just gotta write how you feel sometimes. Let it all out. Better out than in, hahaha.

[ron]

I just feel emotionally naked sometimes.

[ron]

I just feel emotionally naked sometimes.

[s y e]

Not always a bad thing, sweets.

[ron]

With the right person it is...:)

[s y e]

No because that person would wipe away the tears and would want you to open up and feel like you can talk to her.

[ron]

Sorry I meant with the right person being emotionally naked is a good thing.

[s y e]

Oh right..... yeah