Tired

Aren't we all?

I am sorry

That I, and seventeen year old girl, have the audacity to call myself tired

But I am on the brink of falling apart

Putting in vain all the time and effort I invested to try and keep myself together so you won't have to look at my mistakes

I am done cleaning up after you the way you've always expected me to

I am a dandelion kept captive under your scrutiny

Believing you and your words, following your commands telling me to go against all that I am so you can keep me in a vase by your front door

I am not tame and quiet and good, all the things I tried to be to get you to want me

To love me

I am wild, and free, and beautiful, and unapologetic

I am not sorry for being human and being done

Done with empty promises and routine apologies

Tired of dusting your bookshelves full of things I never got to say

And things you didn't want to hear

I am done breaking mirrors trying to call myself beautiful the way you never could

It is time to stitch up the veins I had cut with the shards born from my insecurity

My insecurity born from your indifference and neglect

I will clear up the air, rid it of things left unsaid

And let the wind take me

And scatter my petals over fields and oceans and time

It is time to be me again

To find out what I've lost trying to gain your approval

Because I am tired

Of being tired

Author's Note

The format is weird for me, kind of all over the place. But hey, it is what it is.