Freedom To Roam

Defining acceptable boundaries of a relationship.

Before we go any further with this relationship I feel it is only fair to make you aware of my expectations. I should inform you that the following assertions, much like my nature, are both immutable and none negotiable.

 

Firstly, and most importantly; I do not belong to you. I would strongly advise you against entertaining illusions that I am your property in any way, shape or form.

 

I cannot express this fact strongly enough.

 

I will not take kindly to any attempt to possess or supress my free spirit with your petty insecurities or aggressive obsessions. I simply will not tolerate behaviour of this nature.

 

Got that?

 

Good.

 

It is also highly likely that I will take leave of the home you want me to share with you, at any given moment, and not return for days at a time. I will not contact you to explain my actions, nor tell you of my whereabouts, so don't waste your time asking.

 

Searching for me will prove to be a fruitless endeavour on your part. I can be exceptionally difficult to find when I wish. It's probably best that you conserve your energy to give me maximum attention when I am home, (and please refrain from asking me what I've been up to during my absence)!

 

This is, in fact, your best chance of persuading me to return at all.

 

Make no mistake; any attempt to curtail my comings and goings will be met with one of three responses: Disdain, Indifference or Aggression.

 

Should it be the latter, beware. Be aware- my bite is far worse than my bark.

 

If you have a problem with any of that, then fine- you will be blatantly ignored in any case. Should you press the issue then it is probable that I will respond by turning straight around and retreating back through the door.

 

I sincerely hope we are clear about this.

 

Any attempt, at all, to supress my free spirit, in any way, will result in my total and utter abandonment of you. I will not tolerate sanction, reprisal or punishment for any of my actions.

 

Don't even try it.

 

If you find any of these conditions unacceptable then we should just call the whole thing off. Right now.

 

If you desire love, companionship and faithfulness from me- think again. I am only telling you this to shatter such foolish notions before they have had the opportunity to take root in your feeble mind. 

 

Should you find my position untenable it would be best that you leave the cat sanctuary and make your way to the dog pound.

 

But, before you do...

 

Take a look at how cute I am.

 

'Meeeeow'

Author's Note

Does this work?

Reviews

[alesuriko]

Adorable! Oh my god you had me going from the very start. I had no idea it was about a cat and I was respecting this human so much because I could relate to everything being said and I'm just like that. Screw telling you what I'm up to and don't ask me about it or pester me because it will not end in a pretty fashion. Of course once you brought the cat into the picture it made perfect sense and the entire thing molded together perfectly.

You had a great start from the very first sentence. Short stories really need to pull you in from the start and you got that hook. Well done on this, especially with the flow and the tone. Great personification. I especially loved the "Take a look at how cute I am." So true. I adore cats... I'm such a feline at heart. Great piece!

[cest la vie]

Ok you had me.. you got me good..
this is awesome.. I love it..
Jeezus, I have been punked by a writer..
Great writing Spence!!!!

[brownie]

"who's" in charge. not how's.

[brownie]

Now I'm a total dog person--but this story is great. It definitely works; the way you let the cat do the talking and show how's in charge is a plus.
It almost makes me want to go buy a cat now....:)