Neglection of a Symphony

I need a composition program damn it!

 

Tirades of endless harmonics

Start churning through my head.

The symphony has returned to me,

Notes spilling, filling my mind.

I can’t control the music in me,

It grows and thrives of its own free will.

The composer is but an outlet for it,

A means to accomplish its manifestation.

Oh but the inability to write the tune

Is as painful as being away from a lover,

Understanding every sound in a chord

But unable to write the sounds of the angels.

It is driving me crazier by the second,

Hearing these sounds and having this desire.

No means to accomplish what this first love of mine

Desires, demands, requires of me.

A pitiful servant completely incapable

Of fulfilling the commands asked by my love.

The pain that envelopes my music-filled heart

Overcomes me as I realize I cannot share this song.

I feel so ashamed for not giving Music the life she asks

But I haven’t the means to accomplish the task.

Uselessness fills me and I feel guilty,

A lover incapacitated, watching my life die before me.

The genius bestowed by the grace of Miss Music

Goes unused, neglected, and never shared.

Such abuse of this gift crushes my mind

And a gift of genius tumbles towards insomniac insanity…

Author's Note

Blood red for the innocent birthing blood of Music herself that has been spilt inside my head. Another child dead in the womb, never to be manifested in sound for all to hear...

Reviews

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

WOW...this is so creative, a wonderful insite about the birth of creativity and not being able to do it justice, this is such a great piece, very imaginative and written.

[Abby]

Wow, as I read this it reminded me so much of the way I feel. There's always that endless new melody in my head, but I am never able to find the right notes to write down. It's like there's a barrier between my mind and the paper. This is really sweetly written, it's great. Your choice of words is just amazing. You can feel the tension in this poem and it's so captivating. Really well done! Wonderful work.

[None]

Tomorrow is another day. You may very well make your dreams come true with this, do not despair. I do love your desire and want for music in this.
Your words are honest and true....."Is as painful as being away from a lover, Understanding every sound in a chord But unable to write the sounds of the angels.It is driving me crazier by the second,"
The "sounds of the angels" is so profound and beautiful here! Well written!!

[.]

Good God!!! Dude, I so can relate to this, i swear to God! lol. I couldn't of said this better myself! Everyday I live with this. Not only in music, but poetry as well. There are so many words, good words inside my mind that I want to put down on paper, but everything gets tangled up, and it's so hard to write everything down. I always try to calm myself down a bit, but, tis true that it does get overwhelming and frustrating :( Totally superb composition!!

Mikey

[Rain]

This piece was unique. I feel this powerful pull coming from your love of music, but then I'm caught trying to figure out the true intent of your piece. It actually isn't important. I read to feel. And when I was done reading, I felt the passion of your writing..and that's what I look for. Rain..

[Larissa G.]

And what makes this poem even better is that those of us in the music field *raises hand* know the feeling extremely well. Hell, everyone can feel this way about their craft when they can't make it work. You captured the emotions very well. I almost wanted to hear a story more than just emotions, but it might be there already for me to read again. I just woke up. ^.^ Very nice poem either way.

[Nick Erickson]

The emotions are the same all of us go through when looking for that one perfect word or phrase when writing. Excellent imagery and flow.
Well done!!!

[R J Askew]

Fascinating. I'm full of admiration for writers who also paint or can make music. This poem is a great insight into creative frustration. I hear no music in my head other than through my ears. I can't imagine what is must be like to have new sounds in there. But I know the frustration of not being able to do what you want creatively. Can you do music notation? Great read.