Never In

love, relationship, heartache, pain

Skewed, different, slightly twisted and never in...

when i touch you, i love you, why am i more desperate now than then?

its like my soul escapes me and i'm drawn to your aura when i'm in your arms...

why is it i feel like I've lost my luster, mystery and charms?

when you walk away i feel my breath slipping.

i want to say wait, but i stay silent, the reality is gripping.

i remain twisted, knotted, choked on the inside...

neither one of us can let go of our pride. 

all i want is for you to chase me, pull me close and kiss me. 

that feeling of being reassured can't you see?

lost in your anger and resentment the black clouds choke me. 

wondering if i will ever be your only. 

the distance between us is unreal, inside i'm desperately running to you, 

but my actions show otherwise. 

i miss it when seeing each other filled us with surprise, 

when we couldn't keep our hands off each other and nothing mattered in our eyes. 

i'm full of mourning and desperate cries. 

i want you to want me the way you used to. 

Apart of your memories, apart of you. 

skewed, different, slightly twisted and never in...

not accepted by family as your lover or your friend. 

so the lies, rumors, deception continue to grow and loom until we bend...

we bend, and we break until everything is in utter chaos. 

why do we continue this path of destruction and loss?

when i just want to close my eyes and chase each other through the sprinklers on a hot summer night....

we catch each other and lay down to look at the stars, such a beautiful sight. 

like diamond treasures strung up high across the black velvet sky. 

looking back at this distant memory my heart yearns with a desperate sigh.  

i miss you, i miss us, i want to freeze time because i'm scared of the future.

we slash our hearts only to pick up the needle and begin to suture...

as for each scar, they tell their story, and in each story bears a lie, 

it is hard to tell because our eyes have become desensitized. 

we can't take back the hurt of what was said, i sit in a dark corner wishing i were dead. 

when on the inside i already am....

watching life through my eyes like a web cam.

skewed, different, slightly twisted and never in...

not accepted by family as your lover or your friend. 

i'm on autopilot going through the empty motion with no expression. 

sad thing is, i never stopped loving you, that is my confession. 

Author's Note

this poem is actual feelings stemming from marital hardships and growing distance.

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

Going through love turmoil is hard. When u know you are slipping away from each other but "how do we fix it?" Has no reasonable answer.