Dandelion Love

Dandelion Love

The wind moans to the weary night
Dandelion secrets whisper softly through the trees
A secret embrace, a hidden touch
Splayed across the greenery like a rainbow of gunfire

A loving sigh muttered through lips smeared with the blood of strawberries
Fingers trace our every outline
We paint pictures with our hands
Dancing ballets of light glitter in the irises

Dilating the pupils, stimulating the senses
Molted Earth meets Ocean blue
Tragic in secret, epic in love

 

Author's Note

Reviews are always appriciated. Poetry isnt my strong suit so im trying hard to improve it.

Reviews

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Congratulations for winning the Garden-Tryst contest!

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Congratulations on winning the Mastodon Dentist poetry contest!

Sal

[Gordon Purkis]

Very well crafted, skillful.

[fireblossom]

Nice. I really like your word choices. Meaning you allow drama to play out in the contrast of words. Love and blood rainbow and gunfire...interesting choices. I see you are a story writer. Poetry can certainly sharpen your focus. Keep it up. I like your poems.

I will read your stories as well.

All the best

[Ottilie]

very pretty, i love the details, such pretty sweet details then you still manage to get blood in there

[Mariah]

Actually, I think this piece is quite amazing.

"A loving sigh muttered through lips smeared with the blood of strawberries"

I really like that. So original.

[A.r. Bazian]

CAPTIVATING!
pictures drawn so easily and profoundly in a philosophical dark view!
elements of diction, script, and description fit in perfectly!
in my head, were a thousand nights of emerald fire and moonlight!
eternally oblivious yet immortal and secure!
of which love draws upon the pages of our minds...
pictures so delicate and so pure!

i loved it!

[Don Coorough]

Another lovely bit of writing. I felt carried away on the night breeze with the dandelion seeds. An incredible metaphor of seeding the forest and shared lovemaking. There a few, fascinating metaphysical conceits (the exposition of the hidden similarity in things that seem like opposites) - "rainbow of gunfire," "the blood of strawberries"). One thing, maybe I am wrong, but I believe it is molten earth, not molted, unless you are purposely suggesting the earth is shedding its fur like an animal does, and maybe you are, if so, wow, what an idea, but then, maybe molting rather than molted so it is clear that is what you mean? Al in all, that is a small thing, and this is a wonderful poem! - EllisD

[An owl on the moon]

You create a soft world, floating above and around us like dandelion seeds... Such beauty full of vivid colors and sounds. Brilliant!

[whispersoftly]

That was very soft, sweet and flowing....

I personally think you did well ;-)