Hiraeth

March 4th Hiraeth

Regret eats me when i have the time to think about it

How do i forgive myself for something that makes me hate me?

To go back to when i only regretted going outside without shoes on

Or picking up the bee that turned around and stung me

What do i need to do to put myself at ease?

because i can’t become a kid again

Cant giggle at curse words and my cousins

Cant give you all hugs and forget what happened

Youre dead now, thats impossible

Let me believe in god so maybe you can hear me

Im so sorry

Let me go back in time with the knowledge i have now

Don’t let me deny you

Im

So

Sorry

Im so sorry im so sorry im so sorry im sorry

The damage is done, we cant reverse it

Time cant go back, i can’t take it back

I cant forget it, this fills my head

One sorry or a hundred sorrys or a million sorrys and its still there with a bunch of sorrys

i cant forgive myself, i don’t deserve to

i  wasnt there and i didnt have the right to hurt you

i  didnt have the right to speak when i didnt understand

i shouldnt have lied on command

i  shouldnt have turned my cheek for the sake of a “good man”

And now everything is the way it is

We’ve grown up, we’re no longer kids

Im so sorry

id kill myself to go back in time

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems (:

Reviews

[NowhereMan]

First off, great poem. Just for the fantastic expression of the confusion and feelings you experienced or are experiencing. By the way, regret... The only emotion that eats you from the very core and doesn't go away easily. But no matter WHAT you've done (I don't care if you burned little puppies alive), people change and that version of yourself is no longer you. I relate too well to that feeling, so I had to say something. Good luck :)

[yram]

thank you for the review and advice! I literally just joined, and started uploading some of my poetry so that was pretty exciting. Thank you so much.

[NowhereMan]

No problem! I did genuinely enjoy it. And relate to it. Keep writing!

[StarOnHold]

The bee stinging you is a wonderful metaphor for life! Well written, the innocence of youth soon fades with age as you see the evil of this world, just as simply as grabbing a bee. Bravo!