EVOLUTION...

EVOLUTION...

A Poem by zaisham9393


…EVOLUTION...



I am breaking your rules just to make my own

None of what you said was true

Everything started falling apart one by one

Since, you set the boundaries that don't make any sense

It’s so different from what it was a year ago

I feel misplaced; everywhere I go

I can't connect with anyone and everyone I know

 

Been living here; still feel like an outcast

If you hate me; who cares

I pretend it doesn’t matter to me

But still, you have power over me

Won’t see the struggles people face

To get there; and to reach that place

 

He knows his story

If he speaks the truth; he will be an outcast

So, he hides; like he wasn’t hurt in the past

She doesn’t want you to feel sorry

It was not accident; the rage inside; alone in the rain

It washed away the blood but she felt no pain

Tell me?...If I break free and embrace

Would you accept me, or call me a disgrace?

 

It’s not easy to embrace

When you are told lies; or given advice

Cause, if you switch the places even for a day

Walking in their shoes; it won’t be easy to walk that way

Watching world through their eyes

You will see it’s not easy to live that life

It doesn’t always help; to be told you are capable

Cause, everyone breaks; even those who are unbreakable

 

It’s like people show you the way

Tell you you’ll get there one day

But sometimes you don’t get there

Cause they don’t tell you

The things you will have to go through

What about the darkness they will face?

What if they lose the race?

 

You won’t always make wise decisions

There would be the struggles

There will be obstacles

It is a part of journey…

That is what separates your perfect fiction and reality

Walk through fire to be strong

People will hate you even if you are not wrong

 

Even if they don’t find a solution

You will find answer to your questions

There'll be times

You’ll feel there is no hope in hoping

One gate is closed; others will open

The only truth is you will survive

And that’s how we evolve and thrive.



 


© 2017 zaisham9393



Author's Note

zaisham9393
Hope you like it!
READ/RATE/REVIEW/SHARE
THANK YOU :)!

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Featured Review

I feel this bone deep.

"It’s so different from what it was a year ago
I feel misplaced; everywhere I go
I can't connect with anyone and everyone I know"

You are writing on a very intimate and personal level to every single person who will read this. I think for everyone it will mean something different. It is applies to every circumstance, every trial, every pain, every doubt, every failing, every struggle. This is truly timeless writing.

Someone once told me this about the Christian Bible - that is was timeless. It took me decades to finally understand what they meant. For them, it is always applicable to every moment - what it meant in childhood "evolves" to mean something new in adulthood and throughout the new adulthood strife.

Your poem is the same, I think. It applies to the skinned knees and the "almost had it" baseball games. It applies to the "missed it by a single point" ACT/SAT score. It applies to friendship, to growing and evolving - to distance, loss, rekindling and then moving away again. It is about marriage and children and life and death. It is timeless.

Huge fan of this. Huge. Well done, my friend. Very, very well done.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

zaisham9393

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much for this wonderful review dearest friend :)!!



Reviews

I do quite like it. It's a very good piece with lots of well written lines. I particularly like the last stanza. It was a very nice conclusion to a pretty good poem.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Dear Zaisham!
This poem reminded me of sestina with its structure, it could very well be one if you like to play around with words.
My favorite line is the following, because it is relatable to many dimensions of my life, as the poem as a whole:
"I can't connect with anyone and everyone I know."
I think the whole poem is relatable because it is open to interpretation. However, personally my preference if it was a little less abstract and more clear, especially towards the end. I did love these lines too:
"You’ll feel there is no hope in hoping
One gate is closed; others will open."


Posted 7 Months Ago


I feel this bone deep.

"It’s so different from what it was a year ago
I feel misplaced; everywhere I go
I can't connect with anyone and everyone I know"

You are writing on a very intimate and personal level to every single person who will read this. I think for everyone it will mean something different. It is applies to every circumstance, every trial, every pain, every doubt, every failing, every struggle. This is truly timeless writing.

Someone once told me this about the Christian Bible - that is was timeless. It took me decades to finally understand what they meant. For them, it is always applicable to every moment - what it meant in childhood "evolves" to mean something new in adulthood and throughout the new adulthood strife.

Your poem is the same, I think. It applies to the skinned knees and the "almost had it" baseball games. It applies to the "missed it by a single point" ACT/SAT score. It applies to friendship, to growing and evolving - to distance, loss, rekindling and then moving away again. It is about marriage and children and life and death. It is timeless.

Huge fan of this. Huge. Well done, my friend. Very, very well done.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

zaisham9393

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much for this wonderful review dearest friend :)!!
I agree with your thoughts and your logic.
"The only truth is you will survive
And that’s how we evolve and thrive."
The above lines are true. Good lesson or bad lesson teach us how to live. Thank you Zaisham for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


I do like this, Zaisham. This comes across to me as an intelligent rant with a friend. One listens patiently while the other dominates the discussion.
The rhyme scheme bounces around a bit. Not all lines rhyme in every verse, but the last two always do.
At any rate, I like it.

Posted 9 Months Ago


A nice write; infused with pieces of wisdom.

Life is hard. And no matter how protective one's youth and upbringing is, there will always be moments in life that will test the boundaries of your strength and courage. It is in these moments when one discovers their true self. They can't be prepared for, they just happen and we really discover the person we are and the person we will become.

A nice piece of writing. Wisdom for the growing youth of today.

Posted 9 Months Ago


this is an amazing take on reality the struggles of the world around us I love it

~Naku

Posted 9 Months Ago


Thank you for this, very good read - very emotive

Posted 9 Months Ago


Overall I think this was very honest writing. I think you've conveyed your emotions well.

"Since, you set the boundaries that don't make any sense" - I like this line because of it's relatable. I think we all have someone that kind of sets up these parameters for us to fall into and that's sometimes so very confusing and unfair.

"It’s so different from what it was a year ago
I feel misplaced; everywhere I go
I can't connect with anyone and everyone I know" - another relatable stanza. It stimulates imagination and a kind of detached empathy for the narrator. The past is sometimes a really hard thing to think about. I'm sure that reading that line about the past sparked a plethora of different memories for each person that read it, trying in some disconnected way, to empathize with you. Misplacement is a terrible feeling.

"If you hate me; who cares
I pretend it doesn’t matter to me
But still, you have power over me
Won’t see the struggles people face
To get there; and to reach that place" - I like that the narrator is trying to overcome the notions that people may have about them, it takes a lot of courage to do that. By "that place" are you referring to a place of peace in one's mind - or something more sinister?

"He knows his story
If he speaks the truth; he will be an outcast
So, he hides; like he wasn’t hurt in the past" - I can't quite discern why, but this line broke my heart. There's nothing worse than feeling the need to hide who you are.

"It was not accident; the rage inside; alone in the rain
It washed away the blood but she felt no pain
Tell me?...If I break free and embrace
Would you accept me, or call me a disgrace?" - I like this imagery but felt that the rhyme scheme took away from the meaning just a tad.

"Cause, if you switch the places even for a day
Walking in their shoes; it won’t be easy to walk that way
Watching world through their eyes
You will see it’s not easy to live that life
It doesn’t always help; to be told you are capable
Cause, everyone breaks; even those who are unbreakable" - This stanza, while also relatable, I liked it's uneven rhythm. It made me wonder what this poem would look like if it were a music video.


"It’s like people show you the way
Tell you you’ll get there one day
But sometimes you don’t get there
Cause they don’t tell you
The things you will have to go through" - It's true that people try to boost your confidence in telling you they believe you'll reach your goal. It got me thinking - isn't it because they believe in you that they maybe don't tell you the trials you'll have to face? Because they don't want to discourage you - or perhaps they simply do not know.

"That is what separates your perfect fiction and reality
Walk through fire to be strong
People will hate you even if you are not wrong" - This stanza reminded me of something a friend told me once. That You are not everyone's cup of tea - and that's okay, because not everyone is your cup of tea. You simply cannot please everyone. Very well said. You can be right and still be the bad guy in the eyes of your beholder.


"The only truth is you will survive
And that’s how we evolve and thrive." - I feel this last couple lines are so full of hope. I appreciate that you ended this piece that way. The whole thing seemed as if you were proving all your points. There were times I felt discouraged but reading on - the whole structure supports your notion of hope in hoping and reaching your goal because you've been strong. Very well done. Thank you for the Read request, It was surely a pleasure!

-Rynn






Posted 9 Months Ago


zaisham9393

9 Months Ago

My favorite review.
Thank you so much dear friend :)!
Rynn

9 Months Ago

I'm glad for the read, thank you for writing it! :D
I like the flow and structure. easy read and great grammar

Posted 9 Months Ago



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Added on February 1, 2017
Last Updated on February 1, 2017

Author

zaisham9393
zaisham9393

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Hi, I am Zaisha. Well, I would start by saying that writing is one of my passions, and a way to cope with feeling overwhelmed. Also, I have been working on improving my writing skills and this woul.. more..

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