Beach Island

The Mayflower Compact has nothing on this!

         In the names of the Great Armani, Amazing David, and Magnificent Robert we give glory. On this island which was have decided to name Beach Island, because of the rainbow sand that encircles the island, we found many women, but only a small amount of children and no males over the age of 20, all of which committed ritualistic suicide upon our arrival. We abide to split the women equally between ourselves and in doing so found our own little tribes to whom all the following laws and customs pertain.

        A council of the original founders or their first born children shall be the primary leadership of their island as well as the leaders of their tribes. They shall have the final say in any and all disputes, disagreements, and decisions that affect the entire island. They shall also act as the head economic, religious, military, and all other important activities council. They shall meet every Thursday for the entire day, but are allowed to take up to 2 breaks of a maximum of 6 hours. 

        The three tribes shall be known by the last name of their founder and shall each be giving distinct, but over lapping duties. The Baker tribe shall be in charge of the designing of all defensive fortifications and protection for the island , the distribution of food, the pursuit of science, the worship of Robert Baker and the design of weaponry. The DelFranco tribe shall be in charge of the manning of defensive fortifications and other protection, all agricultural needs including coconut gathering, the husbandry of wild game including gorillas and antelope, the worship of Armani DelFrancoand the control of the economy and monetary systems. The Wikoff tribe shall be in charge of fishing, the distribution of weapons, monitoring of trade, the worship of David Wikoff and the design of infrastructure. All jobs not specifically assigned to one tribe shall be available to members of any and all tribes on the island that follow the Rainbow Beach Island Compact.

        Rainbow Island shall have an unchanging schedule, except for certain holidays. Sundays through Wednesdays shall be spent working on one’s assigned job whether it be the design of coconut powered weapons of mass destruction, wrestling wild gorillas, or going to school. Thursdays shall be for the meeting of special interest groups, community leaders, and the Rainbow Island Council. Friday’s shall be days of fun with the entire day dedicated to partying. Fridays before sunset shall be the only time one is allowed to gamble and after sunset is a time for the drinking of alcoholic beverages, feasting on the weeks most delicious productions, and an all around good time. Saturday’s shall be days of rest to allow the population to recover from the previous days festivities and the worship of Robert Baker, Armani DelFranco, and David Wikoff for at least half of the day.

        Intertribal interactions shall be treated the same as interactions within a tribe. When two people decide to marry, whether they’re from the same tribe or different tribes, they shall live near the family most able to help them become productive members of society. All punishments shall be harsh, but fair so that there is no need for a second punishment. Interactions between just two tribes shall be monitored and decided by the third, neutral tribe. The most important law on Rainbow Beach Island is to have fun, and all found to be unable to follow this rule shall be banished or executed.

Author's Note

This is purposefully silly (well, no duh!) and was primarily a collaboration between me and Rake, but I had to turn his horrendous notes into the actual thing so I take credit.