A Stream Of Consciousness Forum I am ready

I've always thought that I still needed to acquire some special talent, some special quality, that I needed to be somehow different, somehow better, somehow more myself, that I needed to improve something, to gain something more, to do something more, to be more, to live more, to work more and more on myself to be ready to take on my mission.
Now I know that I am all I need to be.
I already am all that I will become.
All that I need is already inside of me. I am what I will become. I am ready to take on my mission. I am my mission. This very Sunday, while I'm working on this f*****g boring translation for my office, dressed in this worn out track pants, with these t-shirts I was wearing when I was 190 lbs. and these Puma trainers so old I must have walked a thousand miles in them. I am. All I need is already inside of me.
I have a whole new awareness of myself. I've gone up another step, another level.
I have myself and my life, it's not perfect, I am not perfect, I know I can make myself and my life better any day and I'll never stop working on that and towards that. But I know that I am ready for my mission, I know who I am, I can go so deep inside of myself and I'm comfortable with all that I encounter down there, in the dark and in the light.
I am my mission.
I already am my future. It's all inside of me. Everything is already here, engraved in my soul, my blood and my guts since a timeless age.
I am what I want to be.
I am what I've always wanted to be.
There's no barrier that I still have to cross, no limit that I still have to go beyond, no missing tile that I still have to find. Anywhere I'll go, I've already been there.
And it's so life-altering to feel like this.
It's so powerful and so intense and so consuming from the inside.
It's my hands gripping this table, it's my fingers typing on this keyboard, it's my heart pounding with emotion, it's this unknown I know I'll have to face, it's this unknown that I fear no more, it's this dizziness in my head, it's these shivers in my body, it's my breath accelerating, it's my mission exploding inside, it's my future unraveling in front of me.
“When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears”.
Thank you God for giving me the chance to feel and experience all this.
I'm just a passage, a key hole, a human see-through.

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