Alpha Readers : Forum : Changing PoV/Headhopping


Changing PoV/Headhopping

9 Years Ago


My book is written in 3rd person omniscient, and I'm doing an editing pass through it to find any "headhopping" offences.

Q: When does using the narrator's omniscience count as changing the PoV? Is it just showing a character's thoughts? What about discussing things that the character isn't plugged into?

For example, I've decided that I will not use the antagonist's PoV in the story. At any point where someone speaks to Sarsuk, the scene will be written from the other character's PoV. But I have things that I want to tell the reader about Sarsuk's society -- things that the characters couldn't know. Here's the first confusing snippet that I've come across:

The krakun, like every civilized race in the galaxy, had laws governing their behavior. But from the commissioner’s point of view, the geroo were little more than insects scrabbling in the dirt. What one insect did to another was largely irrelevant to the krakun.

Does that go too far? And if it does, how do I share things like this without writing from Sarsuk's perspective?

Thanks for your input, Alphas!

Re: Changing PoV/Headhopping

9 Years Ago


I believe, by definition, that third person omniscient allows for your example. The narrator knows all and can say all. Limit sticks closely to one viewpoint. Personally, I'm a stickler about this kind of thing. I prefer books that go full force on one or the other. If I'm reading along thinking you're in limited but you drop a line of omniscient, I get thrown and confused. On the other paw :P, if you have a chapter where you make it obvious that you're making a creative switch, I'd be more accepting. For example, there is a scene that should occur in the second book if my story where a bunch of lords are socializing in a room together. They all are playing the game of thrones and all have different motives and plans. I plan to switch to a mult POV just to intensify the political tension and let the reader say: "my god! Is that guy going to find out and holy crap, I had no idea it was that dude who killed that guy!"