Creative Writing Group Forum New to Zombie fiction

Hello, I have spent some months writing westerns only to discover they are not a brand of rye that people want to drink these days. So I decided to go for something a little more popular. It was a toss up between teenage girls falling in love with vampires or zombie apocalypse. I have chosen the latter. Could you please take a look at my piece FAREWELL HUMANITY and let me know if I am on the right track as I am a novice zombie fiction writer. The story is a work in progress so bear with me in terms of plot and explanations. And advice will be gratefully recieved