Excessives and Addicts : Forum : First thread continued

First thread continued

9 Years Ago

Well, i wouldent consider my self as a claimed or exalted artist. I´m more of a guy in the 30´s with a lot of intrests. I dont have any regrets, wishes. The majority talks about having a dream, or dreams. I never understood
that concept. I just do the things i need to do, may it be 3d graphics, to all types of music, to video editing and sometimes writing.  When i do creative things, i work in an abstract way. I alway come across problems, even a "google" wont answer. I dont whine about the amout of work involved, i dont try to put the work over to others, if i dont know it, i´ll learn it.

The thing i hate the most, is when people take one self for granted, when its turning into a more abusive manner. And thats something i come across everyday. 

I studid with this guy, during his second year,   he earned 61 613,03 eur, painting. and he said, either you give it 100% or you leave it alone. Of course it was his perspective.  But then again, i dident ask for it. Another guy, equal in talent and even better at somethings. Told me after i asked what he was doing at the school. I am not the best yet. his expression turned into one, you would see at a funeral.

so to be an artist, i guess its first and foremost a given, that your personality is manic. With that comes either a lot of angst or an unhealthy selfregard.

When i speak, i speak from personal references. I dont use clichés or common statements, to give words, sentances to people. 

The worst kind is the kind who praises themselves, and cant stop praising, even if you ask them to stop. A combination of both there i guess. I "work" with 2 of those. focusing on the creative part, pissing on 6 other people involved. not realizing that the "boat" is sinking. I have told them this, i have pulled the rope, fixing it up. And all u get is a lot of negative energy back. Since i am like an elefant, if someone pisses me of, i´ll hold a grudge for a very long time. its been 6 months now. And i have commited myself to not be creative around those people. For several reasons, and all just negative, some take claim for the work i do, some pushes me down infront of the others because they are weak inside. And it all lands on little old me. its mainly a problem with the whole social coopertive play. A lot of people dont understand it, wont understand it. especially in creative fields.

And thats the worst thing about being, or trying to be, or doing something creative. music, painting, film, writing. Your always alone. So to be creative is to be dead. and the only time you feel alive is when someone likes your work. And that holds for 5 sec. And thats why "the suffering artist" is such a wellknown expression.

Well, enough rambling nonsens here, Time to go back to the world circeling the computer screen.