I Am Woman Forum Men...

Are they really that complicated?

Not the ones I know. Their asses can't even SPELL complicated. By "they" I refer to my husband and his oldest brother, who lives with us, and his youngest brother, who used to live with us (the dirty, piece of no-good... wait, that's for another thread all together)
The 3 of them operate on the same 3 basic needs in life... sex, beer, and food... in that order. Yes, just living with them has brought me to that conclusion. I see it everyday.
Their mother just recently passed away. You know what that means, right? No, that's OK, I'll tell you. That leaves ME as Matriarch of this wayward collection of men. Lucky me, huh?

I find the ideal to remember when speaking of guys is "What can I do in this moment to please me? What would be fun for me?" It doesn't appear to have a thought process past the current moment. Short sighted would be a good term to describe.

That being said, it is much easier to understand motivations.

The truth is: All men are complicated, just as we women are. Every person has their own idiosyncrasies and personalities that are specific only to them.

There are definitely differences in men and women .I suggest you read the book "Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus' you will find it very enlightening.

Imogean~ ::suprised::

I did read it...and came to the conclusion in order to be heard,

1.) I had to keep it simple.
2.) Give him a chance to to over come his lazy ways and let the garbage build.
3.) Commend him when he finally show mercy on my nose, and let him know I appreicate his small act of love.
4.) Let him stew in his cave.
5.) Remember, if I tell him about my concerns, his grand idea is to fix it...not listen.
6.) They need to feel useful and wanted...kinda like a old man.
7.) They do NOT need to express themselves in words as us...but rather bonding.
8.) They really DO want to please us...who would of thought it? ::suprised::

LMFAO!!!!!! Kitty Cat, you summed that book up PERFECTLY! LOL! LOVE IT!!!

Let's keep in mind the book was written by a what? A MAN!!! No wonder why the book was a load of crap when I tried to use the tips. My bf was happy, but I was pissed!!! ::mad::

ugh i have so much i could say on this one - but i am afraid that it would become more of a rant than anything else -

My guy is complicated to the nth degree. Seriously, I had always heard guys were simple but he is as complicated as I am. Drives me nuts.

I prefer to believe that personality styles differ in each sex...There are dominant men as well as dominent women....read behavior styles by Carl Jung...it makes more sense to me...

Review of the book(Men are from Mars.....) is extremely funny!!! I read the book and found it to be a load of crap....

Not that I have any real right to say anything, but boys are very simple. And i like to say "The only difference between men and boys are the size of their toys" in any perspective, glance, or matter. ::biggrin:: . Quite simple indeed. ::happy::

Actually not much difference between the size of the toys either sometimes. If they are simple Midnight, are we the complicated ones? Something has to explain for the way we just don't get guys and the REALLY don't get us! LOL

how is it a guy can have sex with a person for a year and half - say they LOVE having sex with you -- but cant tell you that they like/love you -- you know as a person not what you can do for them

Are you comfortable? cuz i cud be here alllll day! Men are not complicated. My friends and i have the same conversation about our husbands... we have taken the place of the mom. they expect us to find their jeans ... cook meals and pack lunches (even tho they claim to be all for women's lib). it honestly freaks me out that he wants me to be his mom and then chases me around the house like Benny Hill, looking for a piece of a*s. Freud anyone? men are soooo much weaker than women. i protect my husband from everything, becuz i know that i can handle stress better than he can. It's a tremendous balancing act to keep the whole house happy. husbands are just the third child you never planned on having. with all that ... he's a wonderful father and a big sweetie. He's an avid reader and a superb conversationalist. when he kisses my forehead it makes up for the jeans thing.

Ah, Nicole...I don't know what to say about that. It sounds like a fear of the "c" word. Commitment. If he says I love you, then he has to be aware and take respondsibility in your relaitionship if something goes wrong, and maybe he don't want that. I think he like having one foot out the door. This way he can have a committed relationship, without actually verbally committing himself to you. In short, he is a wuss. You can confront him about it (and you may end up scaring him more) or let things run as they are and wait for his feet to get warm to the idea of loving you and saying it.

C.I., I agree with you so much. They are the kids we did not plan on. We cook and clean for them, and provide sexual release when need be. It is like they get the package of a mom and mail order bride. LOL It is sick when you think about...eeewww. I happened to be alot like his mom, so my guy is in heaven. It helps I'm best friends with his mom. the boy glow when either of us around and super bright when both are around. LOL

Yeah, they are not complicated...they have 3 basic needs:

1.) Eat
2.) Sex
3.) Sleep

With the exception of sex, they are just like a child in 24/7 daycare. LOL

Ladies...I now think WE are the complicated ones. LOL

I think your right yira...
but its like how much longer am i supposed to just stick around and wait --
wuss is a good word - i like that - and what you say makes a lot of sense...
thanks :)

Actually, you shouldn't HAVE to wait by now. Honestly I don't think he will say it because you accept indirectly the fact he don't say I love you. Should you confront him...then it is on him, because you stop being a enabler to his fear of commitment. Then he must be a man about it and either say it or run. If you want action...you got to take it. Grab the bulls by the horn girl and take you life back. LOL

thats exactly what i needed to hear :) thanks!!!!

two thoughts...

1) How would you raise your son differently?

2) Do men act the way they do bc we women let them get away with too much?
My ex treated me horrible and when his father came around it was like I had to smile and act like we had the perfect family or fear what he would do if I didn't. I got so caught up in fear and later feeling guilty bc of all the emotional/psychological abuse that I stopped being ME and become "Donna Reed". The dad would come over and I would make 4 course meals, do all the clean up, and serve seconds and thirds before I could eat. I cleaned the house top to bottom plus all the mess made during the visit. Carefully picked TV programs and movies as to not offend the dad--who would go on verbal rampages when upset. Then, the dad was so moody you never knew what he would do. So if he left early, I would do everything I could to get him to stay so my ex would not get mad at me or blame me if he left... My ex liked to humiliate me and during all this stress, would put the moves on me..
Was it worth it? Hell no! I am putting my foot down and stomping out the fire. If you want to be a jackass, fine. But do it on your own time and in your own space. Whenever you compromise yourself, don't expect change.

LOL* Thats my roar for the day...

Lynn

Men are very simple. From what I've seen, there are actually 4 things:

1) Sex
2) Beer
3) Food
4) Football [sleep is optional]

and from more observations

1] Marriage = A very complicated Death. ::confused::
2] Women are smarter than men, by a long shot.
3] I know more than my dad. ::tongue::

They're just kids that don't ever grow up. That's why they're so lovable.

And yes, Women are the complex ones.