Newcomers Forum pretentiousness is for the wea..

I've been here a total of three days.  I don't know my asterick from my elbow but I do know manners.  A lot of people here have been complaining that people who can and regularly do speak english are surprised there isn't better usage going around.  Let me clear that quandry up for you eggheaded so called literary gods...this is for newcomers.  And in case you didn't know that when you suddenly wound up here I'll tell you from all of us newcomers who are NEW to this writing gig....get off your superiorly high horses ans cut us "idiots" some slack.  We are just reaching out with our newly formed voices and would really appreciate a curve to our learning.  We are doing our very best to earn our chops and win over hearts, maybe not hearts as belittling as yours but hearts nonetheless.  Hearts and minds while we vent our souls.  So, to wrap this rant up.  Eat a dick if you don't like our grammatical mistakes.  Kiss our asses if you can't stand our syntax.  In short, go find another cause more worthy of your intellegence and writing prowess because that kind of negativity doesn't belong here.  Thanks, and happy trolling.