Poetic Infusion Society : Forum : Poem: The Daring Winter , Revi..


Poem: The Daring Winter , Review my poem please. Looking for an honest review and feedback , criticisms are welcomed.

8 Years Ago


The Daring Winter
When the paths get covered by dense fog,
when the sun sleeps a bit more,
when the forests wear its new clothes,
when the faded yellow light brings joy,
And, when the yellow rays in the lush green woods splinter,
The nature tells you, it's a new winter.

Winter, like the poverty, is left all alone,
the skin of winter is hammered with the kind stone.
The fresh blood of winter travels in the veins of summer,
spreading joy and giving life like a flowing river.
The warm summer on the skin of joy,
snatched from the poor winter boy,
Signifying the universal diversity of winter & joy.

The joy of red & white caps,
makes the sorrow nights collapse,
though transiently, but for eternity.
The merry nights, and the friendly christmas naps,
with the gifts, fulfill the desire of the young chaps,
marked with utter serenity.

And then, the melting of snow with visible paths,
the smile of trees with green grass,
Bids goodbye to the injured winter.
The winter clears the path for the next traveller,
the diversity of winter & joy prevails even further,
Truth stands upright, the change fails to change the murder.

By Arghya Samaddar

Re: Poem: The Daring Winter , Review my poem please. Looking for an honest review and feedback , criticisms are welcomed.

8 Years Ago


Its okay in some regards. I like the idea presented; although I am somewhat old fashion and I enjoy a sense of rhythm and rhyme. It's a little choppy I needs to be smoothed out a bit. Other than that, you are fairly well off, just try to revise it a little.