Stories of Life Experiences Forum 07' Freshman Year Accident

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07' Freshman Year Accident 13 Years Ago We began school together in '07 and it was actually hit off to a great and amazing start. We had been best friends since we were 2 and we both had the same day as our birthday. The funny thing was that I was 2 minutes older. It made it even more special to be friends. We were two peas in a pod as the saying goes and never (and I mean never) hurt one another. It was a blessed miracle to have someone in my life who loved me so. Someone to talk to who begged for me to not shed another tear over my horrid step-gpa's indecency. Over the smallest thing we were there for each other and would cry for the other. OUR bond was real. It was solid. And, now, it is gone. We had what everyone in our school and families called, "One soul". We could tell where the other was just by thinking for a moment. We knew how the other felt, what they thought, were thinking, what they were doing. Now, I just feel cold. And all he is thinking is nothing. It tears me up.  I loved him more than my own family at the time. HE was there. Were they? Hell no. They were too busy trying to do their own thing and such. I remember Fran coming to me and saying, "What happened, G?", and the only thing that came out of my mouth was a sob because  no one had ever tried to make me feel loved in that house. It was only out of that house that I was ever happy. The day I was raped, I cried. He was there and held me through the whole night and promised he'd never let it happen agan. It was a moment I'd never forget. Ever. Then, just months after that promise, something happened. He had a "accident".  It was January 14th and we went to school, and he had bought his gf, Melissa, a ring. He was going to propose to her. Take, right now, a moment. We were 16 when we got into Freshman year. Anyhow, he had bought one, and it was indeed beautiful. He had used all of his paycheck from that week to get it for her. His long black hair, and tanned skin looked so pronounced that day. Idk why it never hit me that I was getting a hint that something was going to happen. He was Indian, in case you wondered. He was cherokee. He was an amazing guy and never could be replaced and never has been. Many have tried but I turned them down vehemently. But, to the story. He was happy and excited to give it to her. He was just bouncy. Ready to tell her how he wanted her to be his forever. See? He had a plan, and he was going to go through with it. He was going to propose to her at lunch in front of everyone and make her feel special. To make her feel important, as he told me. Because she was to him. I had told him many times before she wasn't right for him....She was wrong for him. She had something wrong with her. If I had thought about it then, I would have told him I was right for him. I deserved his love and wouldn't take it for granted. I'd never hurt him. I'd cherish him. But, like an idiot, I never told him. And, now, I never can.  Lunch time came that day with a great deal of expectation. Everyone had heard of what Fran was going to do, and now were ready to see it. He was known all around our school. We both were. We were the kids who jumped up on the stage and started singing "Armaggedon" By Marilyn Manson to the school on Halloween night for the dance that was being given. We also sang "Beautiful People" By Marilyn Manson as well for kicks. We were the ones who went and skateboarded down the hallway of the school, holding water guns. The ones who started the food fight in the cafeteria because "the principal looked like he needed a laugh" and never regretted it. We never got in trouble. Probably because of where I came from and what happened and continued to happen to me. For lunch everyone came outside and were all gathered out there waiting for me and Fran to get there and to find Melissa. Fran ran to go find her when we got there and I went to sit down and watch the proposal go on. He proposed to her, the biggest smile covering his beautiful features and I wanted to touch him and laugh and say "B***h, you can't have him! He's too gorgeous for you." But, I'd never ruin his moment. What happened at the lunch proposal? Guess.  She laughed at his face, and then said, "I could never marry you!! You're a f*****g Indian. And, besides, I love someone else." and then took the ring and flung it down those little drains on the sidewalk and she flounced off. I had already gotten up to go kill her. Fran, his face stony, grabbed my shoulder, turned me around, and we started heading to his car. A black mustang. '98 with a v.8 engine and pipes. He was very sad looking.  "We're going to go to my house for the rest of the day. Tell your parents you're here. It'll be okay. I am tired and need to get my head straight. I've got something to do." He said, his face all stone-looking. I had no idea what was going to happen. At all. I was just figuring that we were going to his house to relax and I'd be able to comfort him. The whole ride home we never said one word to each other. I knew he needed to have some silence to think, so I gave it to him. I needed to be respectful of his needs. When we got home, he seemed to change from sad, to just plain dead out of nowhere. His eyes had this wierd, burning look to them, and he turned paler by a good deal. It worried me. Fran turned to look at me and smiled slowly.  "I gotta go get something from upstairs. Okay? If you want, go get a coke from the fridge." He told me and went upstairs. I just watched him leave for a moment, my heart racing. I had no idea why, but I  had gotten very scared for some reason. It made no sense. So, like he told me, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda. As a came out of the kitchen, a thud made me jump. I freaked out and yelled, "Fran!!! You okay, babe?!" At first there was no sound, then he yelled, "Yep!! Tripped over the rug and fell down like a dumbass. Could you come here?" And I went upstairs to see what he wanted. I was just glad he sounded better. When I came up to the room (his parents room) he was standing by there bed against the far wall on the other side of the room. I grinned at him, and he grinned back. He seemed happier!! Great!! We'd go get Sonic after he said whatever he needed to say. He had his right hand behind his back, holding something I couldn't see. Franny watched me and sighed softly. He looked like he was going to announce the death of a family member. He was wearing a coal black Marilyn Manson t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and black skater DC shoes. It made him look so great. He looked like my dark, princely angel.  "I have to do this thing and I have to ask you to please forgive me."Fran said, his eyes looked so sad. I wanted to walk over and craddle him in my arms and weep for the pain he must be going through at the time. He watched my face and saw I looked like I was about to cry, and brought his hand out from behind his back. I gasped and nearly screamed. He held his fathers bedside pistol in his hand and it was loaded. All of the chambers....All of them....And he was looking at me beseechingly. Like I was God and had the right to rogive him any and everything.   "Don't do it, babe. It won't do any good. Please don't....You're the only one I have in this world. Don't do it." I begged, my eyes filling with tears, and I  knew right then he wouldn't listen. I was going to do someting. I walked forward slowly, holding my hand out.  "Give me the gun, Fran. Please. We can just put it up, and never mention it again. I swear. Please. You're too good for this." I was now to the point of crying full blown out. I had never been more scared of more hurt. But, right then, I never knew how scared or how hurt I could possibly be. Ever. Even as I came to him, he placed the pistol in his mouth and pulled the trigger. The next thing I know his brains are on the back wall, and I am still holding my hand out, and drenched in my loves blood.....My heart exploded in my chest and fell to the ground and grabbed my best friend and craddled his lifeless body to me. I didn't have to call the police bc the neighbors heard the shot and called for me. When they got there, my body was drenched in blood and I wasn't speaking. I came home 2 days after being in the ICU and hardly talked for 3 and a half months. And when I did the first thing I sad was "I'ma kill her". And I beat the s**t out of Melissa that year after I heard her say "He deserves to be dead and burning in hell. He's a nobody." After that, she was as good as mine. I never got over the fact that my best friend of so many years had been gone. I just knew I'd never see him again and that hurt more than anything else ever could. Idk if this is what you necessarily meant by writing of life experiences, but I have more of these where they came from. Too many to count. Get ahold of me if you need.     Deeply Yours, Sarah G. Whiteman