The Best Group To Get Reviews********************* Forum My very first poem- please rev..

apw001

My very first poem- please review 8 Years Ago This is my first poem, I welcome all comments. Thanks! A "Heavy and Kind" A change in direction at the audible tone Exercitation of the intellect, my attention is held A kind hearted friend deceived By an unmatched supremacy To your sonorous call I reply   Opposite I sit, quiet with fear Your eyes pierce mine with a hungry glare A victim of the Hawthorne effect My framework suddenly broken A crumbling foundation, cracked from the roots of your tree The damage of a welcome invasion Into the night, we walked A familiar feel, a clouded mind, a wanting heart Shielded by dissimilation Virtues hidden from your unspoken judgment   The bitter taste, I savor I hear no voice but yours A crowded room with empty chairs Like lights so bright you can’t see the stars An unrealized potential Burning inside like the spirit I swallow Attainable now, a final reply The city lights, shy, watching from behind the curtain No stone left unturned In a dark room at the top of the stairs   Under your wooden canopy I stayed Too scared to stir The risk of returning to your cold too much But there you laid, heavy and kind Your breath warm on my cheek Holding me in your air   Daylight creeps in Shining on simmering coals Unwelcome exposure in a dark room with sensitive film Shadows replaced with honest tired eyes Perhaps a warning of the impending storm Coming towards a foundation still too weak to hold   A refreshing breeze, a day anew Two glances behind, one deep breath in A moment of hope exhaled with the sharp air The night immortalized I drive away from the golden sun, breathless again Reaching for something more Like longing for a dream you wish was real

maria ( rose)

Re: My very first poem- please review 8 Years Ago Thank You & welcome:)  I did a review on your page ..we also have a place where you may submit your work to the group..(At the top of the group) you will see..follow example (just click on the box that says''writing'' & then submit) Group  Members  Writing  Forum