The Love Blues Group : Forum : You seemed proud


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You seemed proud

12 Years Ago



Its funny 
  How when I think of you 
  Whats real and whats not real 
  Blurs And my mind gets stuck In the black pit
Of my imagination. 
And my attention
Always becomes fastened 
  On that one night 
  Valentines Day - When you told me I was beautiful.
And this time I actually believed it.
The words cascaded through the air
Like butterflies in the spring 
  Spritzed with love and laughter 
Just like that. 
And you let me rest my head in your lap 
  And you leaned down to kiss me. 
You brushed my hair back from my face and said “I love you,” 
Not like the kind you say to your mom
While your closing the car door 
On your way to science class.  
It wasn’t just thrown out there either,
Like when you drop a paper airplane from your balcony. 
Not sure where it will go.
And it wasn’t an answer - as if I was questioning it. 
  it was a statement. 
  like you wanted to paint it in black ink
on your neighbors car 
for everyone to see. 
  You seemed proud.   
  It was the very first time anyone had ever been Proud
To have loved me.
And that very first time 
  Has corrupted me ever since 
  Into Thinking that there is still someone that loves me out there
Who is proud 
  To have loved me.
But your not anymore 
  Your not, mike. Your embarrassed. 
  When you hear my name 
  You wipe me off 
  Like you do with the dirt on your knees
After loosing a football game.   
  Loosing that game for you was an embarrassment.
And all I am to you Is dirt from that lost 
football game 
  From that embarrassment. 
Dirt that is easily shaken off - 
  That has now become meaningless.   
  So if you can just shake me off as easily as dirt 
Then why cant I? 
Why am I still stuck in the past 
Of that one night 
where someone finally 
made me 
feel 
wanted.