The Wood Beyond The World Forum new work

Hello all.. Chapter Two of Dark Times has been posted so if anyone has time to take a look at it I would be very appreciative.  And what is Urbis?  I cant say as I have had only 'pat on the back' reviews here Not so far anyway.. Both Leah and Lisa do a first rate job of pointing out where I have gone astray.

Thanks in advance

Kathy B

Kathy, you're next up for me, now that I don't have to worry about ABNA anymore.

Urbis is a writers' website where I first met the core of this group -- Nick, Bill, Zuri, Andy, and Loekie (bet Loekie doesn't even remember me from Urbis -- I reviewed him there, though.) (Did I forget any Urbis almuni?)

It's a mess of a website really -- every time they try to fix it up it gets worse -- so I deleted my account there entirely.

But I'm glad I found all those nice people there.

thanks Leah  I do appreciate that you have a lot on your plate right now.

cheers

Kathy B

Kathy,

I just reviewed your chapter two and my biggest suggest is that the chapter seemed rushed.   I am a very big fan of quick but even pace and with Leah I kept telling her to speed things up.  With you, I will say slow down.  Show more of Emma, really introduce the reader to her as she seems like the matron of this group of survivors.  You are out of 1st person in this chapter, but you can still show alot about Emma through her conversations with others and internal thoughts.   Play with it, expand it.  Paint a bit more of a picture for the reader, just don't go purple on us. lol.

Nick. 

Thanks Nick I will try to avoid the purple prose.. grin   I will revise chapter two and slow it down.. Doing the same thing with Chapter One..  to give a better picture of Maggie

cheers

ps Nick  how many books do you have up for review anyway?   I have lost track