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New & is in need of Review for..
New & is in need of Review for Review..10 Years AgoHi,
I'm new and just posted: 1. a chapter for my novel writing, 2. a few poems. I would be very appreciative of the reviews, feed backs/critiques. I am in need of great and honest suggestions, advice, reviews/critiques that could help me better my writing. It may sound like every other plot but it's not, and most of the events and situations have actually took place. Please feel free to assist me and i assure you i will return the reviews and feed backs - just let me know on which piece of work you'd like the feed back and i will be sure to take a read :D Thanks in Advance. (P.S. Feel free to add me and be my friend, i look forward to creating long lasting friendships.) Just a little touch...... Smile, make them think
you're happy
Lie and say that things are
fine
And hide that empty longing
that you feel
Don't ever show it, just
keep your heart concealed
Why are the days so lonely?
I wonder where, where can a
heart go free?
And who will dry the tears
that no one sees?
There must be someone to
share your silent dreams
Caught like a leaf in the
wind
Looking for a friend, where
can you turn?
⃰⃰⃰⃰ ⃰
⃰ ⃰
August
2013
It was a wonderful
sunny day; the weather was bright, with soft, white, fluffy clouds that lazily
flirt across the clear blue sky. A
gentle breeze could be felt while it filtered through the tree branches and
leaves. The sun was a blazing ball of
heat in the sky that heated up the atmosphere, while the ocean lay calm and
inviting, also reflecting the beauty of the clear blue sky above.
It was such a
peaceful and warm Friday afternoon. The
sounds of the birds singing and the ocean waves crashing against the dock or
sea boulders in the distance was quite calming to her nerves and tortured soul.
Steffie was sitting
in the Botanical Gardens thinking about her life and what had happen to her to
change it in the last two months.
The Botanical Gardens, was a large park
with various big trees and lush green grass that stretched across from one
point to the other. There were a few
flowers along the park which were cut in a way that made it mesmerizing.
The Gardens were
quite peaceful with children’s laughter while playing, and a few people sitting
or walking around. Occasionally, a
vehicle diving through the Gardens spoiled the tranquility.
How could I have been so dense?
She asked herself over and over again.
Steffie had met Jake
six months ago, but knew him for about two years before. He’d came to her like a wolf in sheep’s
clothing, pretending to be good, caring and very charming. Read the rest on my profile. Thanks in advance for taking the time to check out my story, i will return the critique/review, Promise!!! |
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