The fallen Forum ...hi

hey guys. i don't really know why i'm writing here, i was going to go apologies to someone. not for something i did to them esactly but for something i did to myself and i thought of them and felt terrible. i don't know what i'm doing. i'm pretty sure i don't need help, i desided i long time ago to stay. latley i've been happy. scratching across my back... it isn't cos i need to feel something rather than being numb or cos i need to let pain out it's to snap me the hell out of it so i don't do anything more damaging like, say, hitting walls. or in the past thinking of worse. yet i still felt like i was letting him down by doing that. i've been heaps better but i just got so pissed off this morning so instead of coming to school with busted knuckles this morning i have fading pink lines on my back n feel like crap. don't even know why the hell i'm writing here. i couldn't esactly apologies anyway. he dosn't know how i was or how i apparently am acording to this morning. if he did hed just freak out and get worried anyway so maybe its best i don't apologies.

busted knucles scraches on back what is this about im lucky i was comeing to wright in this myself or i would of never sore this now whats going on you know im always here for you

... well f**k.

One thing I can say is don't rely so much on if you're letting him down. He obviously cares about you and just wants the best for you. It's great that you've been feeling better and you should focus on that. I understand the numbing feelings . . (honestly I've always hated it more than the pain). Maybe this is just the optimist in me but look on the brighter side. You have a lot to be happy about and don't let the past bring you down. I was actually thinking about this stuff earlier this morning. I realized how much I've changed and how I'm finally becoming the person I've tried so hard to be for a while. It's a big step. The healing process takes forever, I'm not going to lie. It's slow and sometimes unnoticeable. What you have to do is take each day a little at a time. The past doesn't always have to define you, You still have the here and now, not to mention the future.  (sorry I know you didn't ask for any responses but I felt I had to say something. I hope you feel better).

thnx, ive been okay for a year and a half and pretty good for a year. it was just this morning.

baby you have never ever let me down. not even once but if something is wrong i do want you to talk to me you are my everything i do care for you i dont want you to hurt yourself. it dosnt let me down because i have been that way myself quite some time ago now but i rather you not hurt your self for any reason. if your upset for what ever reason plz just come talk to me. i am always going to be here for you. i will always lissen to you. if you need to say something then say it. i love you so plz just talk to me if something is wrong so i can be there for you.