The fallen Forum Feelings

This isn't something really important. I just hate my feelings right now. It's just I have a logic to make things in my world (more so my head) work.

He hates me. That was my logic. For the longest time I hated this logic because it meant the only way for me to really have a guy friend was for him to hate me. I cried to myself about this logic. But now it's different.

It scares me. Sometimes the looks. He teases me and that continues the logic I find comfort in. I don't want him to start to think of me more than a friend and at the same time. . . I do. I'm so conflicting.

I understand your whole logic thing, its a way to keep things organized and simple but I think an underlying question here is why do you not want these feelings? Why don't you want him to think of you as more than a friend?