The fallen Forum So you think you know me?

Diasha	So you think you know me? 10 Years Ago I'm sorry I know I didn't let you in I know I said I hated you I know you felt like I didn't care It hurt I was so confused I was fine before. . . Denying i had any feelings toward you. But now I've finally decided and maybe It's too late. . . Maybe I took too long to realize how i actually felt. I'm so sorry. . . I didn't mean for this to happen I didn't mean to get caught up like this I just wanted a friend. . . You don't know how lonely the nights get How the tears swell up inside How much it hurts How it gets hard to breath You don't know me But that's my fault. Please don't get me wrong I was doing fine But why is it I'll start to get slightly deep in text But in person you won't give me as much as a look A smile Just something for me to believe in Something to keep me pretending you care Because . . .I know you don't Or maybe that's my twisted logic speaking again Trying to keep order in my world That's why i said I hate you That's why I denied everything i felt about you My loneliness got to me I started thinking the only way it would work was if you hated me I denied any other logic But like I said. I'm stubborn You already knew that though You DON'T KNOW ME!! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY MONTHS IT'S BEEN!! YOU KNOW NOTHING! I know how i sound. . . But it takes a year to begin to know someone And i'm still broken I don't trust. You learned that But don't know why. I'm still recovering from my last boyfriend i'm still hurting i don't trust because I stopped letting people in. . . i was isolated when I was with him The days I spent waiting for him to come Just so i could see him I haven't let anyone that close for a while. that's why I'm awkward. . . I'm not used to being around people so much anymore Not like i used to. . . once you get like that. . . You can't help but compare yourself with the way you used to me. I don't me to. . .I said i was done. I said i was better But i guess i still need more time. I still getting used to being with my friends I know i can't hide what i'm feeling But i can always hide my thoughts. I don't tell you these things over text because I believe my deep convos should be in person You're so different from the rest. In nearly every way. I keep saying i'll get over you That i'm done But would I really give up so easily? Without trying? I already knew i wouldn't. . .I had this feeling. . . I can't say i love you. But I know there's something there This time I would fall so easily I'll fight it The reason my best friend is my teddy bear. . . Is because unlike everyone else. he's always there for me He's someone. . .i trust I have bearers around me. You should've figured that out. Maybe that's why you don't care about me I mean i already came up with reasons why it wouldn't work i'm needy i'm broken I'll stop telling you things I'll change I'm moody i'll stop trusting you My relationships don't last more than a year I probably won't be your friend in the end i'll mess things up I'll end up hurting you I'm difficult you won't understand me I have bad habits i'll casually say something that's wrong or something deep so I won't cry Why would you even want me . . . Maybe it's better that I dont try. I'm conflicted. . . I want you but I don't I'm sorry. I want to talk to you. I want you to atleast know Why it hurt when I just wanted to talk. . You act like it wouldn't matter if i was in your life or not. . . But you used to look at me. . with those eyes... YOU HAD TO HAVE BLUE EYES! (why do i have such a fetish for blue eyes..) Maybe i'm just rambling now i sound so lovestruck but i'm so confused I don't really know i hate it I hate not knowing. I'm pathetic... all this thinking over a guy. When i finally feel like i'm getting better. . . I relapse into this kind of thinking again. i'm sorry I'm the way i am sometimes. i'm sorry if you read all this You didn't need to. I was just thinking too much and had to sorta get it out..... i'm sorry
Dark Rider	Re: So you think you know me? 10 Years Ago It's though when things like this happen, and you don't know how they got so bad. You only notice them until it's too late. But it's never to late to try and change things. That's the important thing. No matter how long it may take, just remember to hold your head high and brave whatever may come while trying to set things write. In the end, things will work out fine. :)
bunny	Re: So you think you know me? 10 Years Ago no need to be sorry hun. this is very deep hun. this is great talk to me if you feel sad imaginary hug
Diasha	Re: So you think you know me? 10 Years Ago Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate the support.
Rhianne Ney	Re: So you think you know me? 10 Years Ago Things like this are pretty normal to people. Don't worry about it and plunge to a different way. I know that you can do it, kudos to you~!