The fallen Forum Random mood swings

I have no clue why, but I'm just really pissed at myself. And my family, but I have multiple reasons to be pissed at my family. And then like every little thing I get in trouble for has me running to my room to cry. And when I'm angry, in my mind, I'm beating the s**t out of somebody, but in reality I'm secretly grinding my teeth and taking a deep breath. I barely have any energy to fight this anymore. I'm always tired and hungry which has never happened before. I rarely smile and rarely laugh anymore. And just a few minutes ago, I was thinking about how everybody says that so and so's life is worse than mine and s**t, and how suicide isn't the answer, and how things will get better, and all that s**t, but in reality that kind of talk just makes me feel worse and I have no idea why. *randomly pissed at self* (yeah I know I curse a lot) I'm only 14 I shouldn't be feeling this way! I rarely smile and laugh anymore, which is unusual. In my mind I keep thinking "I should really see a physiatrist" but I know that nobody will take me cuz my parents are afraid of what I would say, my grandpa is too busy, my grandma (who used to take me.) is dead, and so on. AND THIS F****R KEEPS DRIVING BY THE HOUSE BLARING HIS F*****G MUSIC AND ITS PISSING ME OFF! IT'S TEN THIRTY AT NIGHT B***H TURN YOUR DAMN MUSIC DOWN! Sorry, sorry. Also, my brother doesn't show anybody respect who deserves it, thinks the world revolves around him, wont let himself get in trouble by trying to get everybody else in trouble and crying (and it only works for him), wont listen to me (ever) steals my s**t and gets away with it, and is able to do something to somebody and have them get in trouble for doing it back, and I'm f*****g sick of it. I've called him out on it so many times in front of my parents and I'm the one who gets in trouble cuz he brings up something I did in the past. -_- the f****r. *extremely pissed at self and family* my family keeps hating on me and all I ever want to really do is just curl up in a corner and cry until I die... I hate it.

Stay strong dear friend we are all here to help....

hunny hunny why would they do that to you! it's not your fault! you don't deserve this! maybe ask your brother why he does this it could be that this is his way of coping but that doesn't excuse the fact that he is being a jack a** and bring up the past key word PAST! and remind your parents that the past is past and they have no right to do that! please do talk to someone even if it's a teddy bear it'll help to get these feelings out more ~bunny

Thanks for the reassurance Kelsey. And the thing is my parents my brother is an angel so he rarely gets in trouble. He's 12 now with th mind of an 8 year old. But I can't tell my parents that the past is in the past because they don't care about that. The teddy bear might help, I'll try that sometime. Thanks for the help guys.

I sleep with a teddybear. :3 *hugs*I know exactly what you mean. I'm going through something veeery similar. :/Just message me if you need to talk or just vent... And I know what you mean by all the talk people do. :P*hugs again*Keep writing. Stay strong. <3 You're not alone. :)

I believe that you have the ability to overcome these problems; but it's going to take some hard work. Would you be willing to jot down some positive things about the people and situations in your life? Then try to focus on the good, positive things. Oh, believe me it's not easy but it can be done. Your father, mother, brother and other people in your life have good attributes. Why, well sometimes that's the only way to overcome life's problems. I have found that it's the only way I can overcome the problems in my life. You've heard to the power of positive thinking; it really works. POW's that survive do so because of their ability to look beyond the persecution and focus on the basics of survival: I'm still alive; people are trying to locate and free me; I've been physically and emotionally beaten but if I focus on survival and the hope of freedom I can make it; I'll concentrate on surviving today; and I may be hungry and thirsty now but perhaps there will be more to eat and drink tomorrow so I'll conserve my energy. Sometimes a child has to be the adult in life's situations; sound familiar? Try it; find out what works and what doesn't. Fight one battle at a time or you'll never win the war. You will be a better person; a stronger person and a wiser person if you try to not let the circumstances in life pull you down. You'll be amazed at what you can do to turn things around.

*huggels and dosnt let go* its not your fault, why would anybody be so mean to someone DX and yeah late at night + dimwits with loud music = grrrr TRYING TO SLEEP!!!

I understand wat ur going through I am struggling with the same thing. Don't let ur anger take over believe me it is better to talk about ur problems then bottle it up like I do. And when u get angry or feel like giving up just remember ur not alone all of us care about u and want to help u P.s if u need someone to talk to just message me my door is always open