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Many Roads by BlackPearl

6 Years Ago

 Jazzmine Jones He was extremely sexy. His body was firm and athletic, almost like it had been chiselled from bronze. I watched him as he showered and the water made a trail down the cleft of his back. The vision of him in that shower made me forget that he was three hours late. It was 4 a.m. and I couldn’t even get a phone call. I was angry but could not resist the urge just to be next to him.  

My body had been crying out for attention for weeks. He was so determined to get those damn shipments of Meth in from Mexico that he had been completely avoiding me. Since 9/11 all the airports had really beefed up security and even the guys on his payroll were on pins and needles. I just wouldn't allow myself to think that there was another woman involved.  

 The only thing that gave him an erection besides me was money. When I slipped in the shower behind him, I closed the door gently and ran my fingers around his waist and up the center of his chest.  I planted kisses tenderly on his back. As the droplets of water lined my lips, he slowly turned around and peered at me through those deep, brown eyes. He could tell what I wanted and was always ready to give it to me. He placed his arms around me and pulled me closer. 

Our wet, warm bodies fit together like a glove. As he began to kiss me deeply, my breathing intensified. The steam was so thick that it billowed around us like a protective shield. I savored the taste of his tongue as it darted in and out of my mouth, exploring and titillating my senses. My hand made a trail down his stomach; he exhaled with a deep groan as I grasped the shaft of his manhood.  

 He moaned as he lifted me up and pressed my back against the tile covered shower wall. He looked into my eyes intently with water running down his well-groomed face. Slowly, he filled me inch by inch. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he plunged deep inside me. The sounds of passion escaped despite my bitten lip.    He gently kissed my neck and chest as the water amplified the sound of our bodies colliding into one another.  He grasped me tightly as we both climaxed together meeting one another like the completion of a circle. 

Shawn was a great lover and an even better provider. Most importantly, his love for me was unconditional. He knew he could trust me, and trust in this lifestyle was rare.    What we had was solid and pretty soon, he would have enough money to retire and we could get out of this place. Shawn didn’t want to live the rest of his life as a drug dealer so he spent the majority of his time finding ways to make his investments legitimate. In many ways he wanted to be better than what his family and friends had ever expected. He knew that he could only go so far in this game, but he was determined to make as much money as he could so that we could have a happy and comfortable life together.               

That time couldn’t come fast enough for me. I worried about him all the time and prayed to God that nothing bad would happen. I finally found someone who loved me and I didn’t want to lose him. As we climbed into bed, he held me close. I craved that security.               I desired to be needed and wanted alike. It was that fulfillment that I found in him; he gave me all that I needed. It wasn’t all material. He was a deeply passionate man and he deserved to be loved. I hated myself for not understanding why I couldn’t.

 Eva Lopez   

"I wish these dumb a*s b*****s would stop playin' on my muthafuckin phone, I said as I tossed my phone in utter frustration. Sam got this ho callin’ because I took his stash of weed. Exhaling the smoke from my peach Phillies Blunt, I proceeded to give an account of my newest beef with a smug grin. I'm tellin' you, B, I ain’t givin’ him s**t. That n***a tryna to play me son.”   “At the rate you’re goin', it won’t be nuthin’ left, Jazz said. You been smokin’ and rollin’ non-stop since I got here. You and Sam always on some mess, Eva, one week y’all madly in love, and the next week you’ve robbed him. You know you were wrong for havin’ Bobby up in here in the first place and now you fightin’ him and Pookie too, she said as she shook her head.”      

“You’re both crazy and you need to leave each other alone.  What happened this time Eva, she asked?” “Girl, I caught his a*s with Pookie, I replied.” We knew Pookie as the local neighborhood tramp. She would screw anybody. Her brother got locked up and left her a little bread and every guy in the hood was trying to get next to her. “Oh my God, what did you do, asked Jazz, sitting on the edge of her chair?”   "Me and that b***h hit, I said, pounding my fist on the table like the gavel of a decided judge.  

She will think twice next time she runs up in my face again.” I was always rah-rah as hell. I stood 5’2” and 140lbs with a flawless face and a bad attitude. I came straight from the South Bronx and wouldn’t hesitate to stomp a mud-hole in a b***h's a*s.       I was the real deal, but maybe a bit too much for Jazz’s bougie a*s at times. She was my girl though and nothing would change that. She was about the only person that could keep me in line. If it wasn’t for her, I’d probably be locked up. We went to high school together. Although we remained friends, I ended up pregnant and dropping out my 10th grade year.               

 Some would have thought that a baby might have slowed me down, but it just added to the many reasons to fight and argue with Sam. Especially since he came home and linked up with that ho. I might have been wrong for f****n’ with Bobby, but I needed to feel something. He was the one that got locked up. I was tired of not having anyone to help with the baby and I didn’t want to be lonely.               

I enjoyed the drama and the attention whether it was negative or not. Fighting was the one thing I was good at. If that meant that I had to cave a b***h’s head in, I’d do just that. I never wanted to be thought of as a victim.  If it was left up to me, I’d never be again. No one was going to protect me, but me. If there wasn’t bullshit at home there was bullshit in these streets. This is what kept our bond strong because Jazz was always there to chill me out.    

And in return, I always had a story to tell. That Puerto Rican fire combined with that African-American soul may have been too much for anybody to handle. I kept a blade close and had a mean right hook, too. It wasn’t long before fighting was like therapy to me. It was the only way to get rid of all the anger. Drinking only seemed to intensify it, but weed kept me nice.         

 I smoked a lot of it too. My brother Berto and Jazz dated in high school.   I guess that's how we got so close.  Her parents were always fighting and my place was her escape.  My mom was not home much and Jazz was over all the time.  It wasn’t long before Berto became the new excuse to get out of her house.               

 I would always be the cover. Otherwise, her parents would have never let her stay over. I was cool with it though. It was like having a sister in the house and my mother adored her. She was a well-mannered little church girl. Berto and Jazz broke up soon after he went off to the Marines and things were never the same.   Jazz got about five letters in all before she decided that it wasn’t going to work. She never could give a good reason outside of the fact that he’d left. She’s with Shawn now, so there’s no need to cry over spilled milk. I’ll never stop wanting them together, they were good for each other.   "Man, J, Berto will be home this week. You should come by and see him, I said, hoping that this time she would say what I wanted to hear.” “Eva, it's over, Jazz said calmly as she began fidgeting with things on the kitchen table. Her tone was notably irritable and tense at the mention of his name.  Berto has moved on and so have I.”              

 I’m sure that she didn’t want me to recognize the sadness in her voice, but it was evident even with my back turned. She never seemed quite the same after the abortion.  A part of me always wanted to see them together. I’d secretly hoped that she would have a change of heart. "That’s bullshit Jazz and you know it. You know you still love his a*s and he still loves you.” “Eva, stop it, she yelled, pounding her fist on the table!”   She was determined not allow herself to remember Berto or the life they'd planned together. I had to sit in silence and watch both of them suffer. He loved her just as much as she loved him and she didn’t have enough sense to realize it. In a lot of ways she was lucky as hell. At least someone loved her.   

                                                           Shawn Sharp  

 As I exited the elevator and headed toward my office my secretary met me shooting her regular. "Good Morning, Mr. Sharp, your messages are on your desk and coffee has been made, she said.” This young b***h was off the chain and thirsty as hell with those short a*s skirts and three-inch-heels.  She would intentionally sit at her desk with her legs open just hoping I would see that she doesn't wear panties.   She had a nice body on her; with long blond hair and green eyes.  The b***h was sexy, but she wasn't my type. It was funny to me how many hoops she would jump through just to f**k the boss. So, on that strength alone, I would keep her around. 

I would only smile, nod and keep it moving. I could never mix business with pleasure even if I wanted to. I quickly opened the door of my office after I glanced at my watch and realized that I had several calls to make about that shipment of Meth. These n****s know the drill, I thought, hearing my phone ring at exactly 9a.m. “This is Mr. Sharp, I said, holding the phone to my ear.” "Hey man, it’s me man, Manny." Even though I didn't like the tone of his voice, I think Manny knew not to f**k my day up with any bad news. 

 "What's good, Manny, I asked hesitating with a smirk?” I couldn't help but to think that if this n***a fucked up my money that I was going drop his a*s in the river shackled to a bus rim. It had been a long time since I had to make a n***a disappear and from the sound of things, he might have to. Besides, this was only the second shipment and he was too rattled.     "Man, we got the s**t but, he said, as I cut his a*s smooth off.”  "But what muthafucka, I said, in my smooth monotone.” As I hurriedly shut the office door, I waited on his reply.  

“Man we got it, but I think they got eyes on us.” “Manny, meet me at the spot at 7 tonight with my s**t and don't be late.” “I'll make time to deal with that b***h in you later. I’ve got work to do and certainly no time to be f****n’ ‘round on no phone, I said sneering as I cleared the line in a nonchalant manner.” These remedial a*s n****s would have to know that I'd put a tail on that a*s. My money is my livelihood and I'll never let them catch me slipping. I grinned and scanned over my appointment book. Since the purchase of the towing company, it made it a lot easier to transport product.  It was ingenious.

 I needed to make sure the chances of them being stopped were slim to none. But I wasn’t stupid. With that type of assurance, there would always be someone who wanted to skim off the top and I wasn’t having it. "Dawn, block off my lunch from 12 to 2, I have some outside business to take care of, and call the florist and send Jazz a dozen long stemmed white roses, I said.” Slowly letting go of the intercom button, my mind fell on that love session from last night. Jazz was a good girl; she held it down for me. As much as I wanted to give her the world, there was still a part of me that wanted to hold back.              

 No woman had ever gotten to me the way that she had, this girl had my heart. It was hard to find a woman with loyalty and understanding. Even at my worst she still made me feel like her hero. She had my back. B*****s come and go, but I would never leave her under any circumstances.   
              Uberto Lopez               

"Last call for flight A-253 to LaGuardia, last call for flight A-253 to LaGuardia, was announced overhead.” I had never been so glad to hear my flight number called as I had been this morning. Being in the military, I traveled on a constant basis, but this trip was different. There was a two-hour lay over, and I'd been sitting in the boarding area since 0400. I had a lot on my mind and I contemplated going back to the base several times.               As I leapt to my feet, I threw my duffel bag over my left shoulder and headed toward my boarding gate. "Have a wonderful flight sir, said the stewardess as she confirmed my ticket.” 

While walking through the corridor toward the plane, I had mixed feelings about going back home after all this time. It had been eight years since I'd returned to New York, and it was no secret that Jazz had a lot to do with it.   After our break-up, I couldn’t bare seeing her. I left with the assumption that we would be married and raise a family.  Instead, I got a letter saying that she wanted to end it. I couldn’t believe it. No matter how hard I tried to accept it, I had no closure.  

 There was no prior warning. Her letter was so cold and unlike the girl I had spent so much time with. I thought of her often since our break-up. She left me with so many unanswered questions. All I wanted was to be able to give her a life with everything she deserved. I beat myself up for months trying to figure out what I did wrong. I didn’t know whether there was someone else or if she just didn't feel the same. Whatever it was I had a right to know. I spent enough time hiding and running away from my feelings. I made a decision to be a man and take care of my family. I don’t think it was right for her to leave me when I needed her the most. I slid into the window seat and reclined in hopes of getting some well needed rest on the way.

 Peering out of the window, I soon found myself daydreaming about the very woman I had despised for leaving me almost a decade earlier. I wanted to hate her for breaking my heart, but I couldn't. The love I felt for her wouldn’t let me. She was a beautiful girl with a good heart and I loved her very much. Although I'm not sure of the outcome, I'd hoped this trip would give me the answers I’d spent countless nights trying to understand. I needed her in my life again and I would do whatever I could do get her back. My life would never be the same without her.               

Being away from her helped me to realize how important she was to me. No matter how hard I tried to push away the memories she always found her way back into my dreams. Seeing her brought comfort to me.  Sometimes they helped me to forget the pain. When I couldn’t, that pain fueled my will to become the marine my country needed me to be.                 

 Samuel Lambright              

 I’ve never been more tired of Eva's s**t than I have been this week.  This would be the last time that I let her get away with these games. Every time we get into it, she does something vindictive to get back at me.  If it doesn’t involve SJ, she’s taking my dope. I swear to God on everything I love, when this b***h opens this door, I’m going to beat her muthafuckin’ a*s.  I walked to the door anxiously contemplating her reaction when she saw me standing there. I knew that what I was about to do was dead wrong, but this girl had been taking' me through nothing but bullshit since I stepped down.  It got even worse when she found out about Pookie. 

It was one accusation after another. She would never admit or apologize for anything she did wrong. Here I am feeling guilty about what happened between me and Vic and she was f****n’ some n***a through my whole bid.  I left so she could be with his lame a*s. I decide to move on and not be under her funky a*s, and now I have deal with this s**t. It’s got to end today.  I hit the door with four heavy open handed thuds and stepped away from the peephole. I heard the lock on the door turn, and before the door was even ajar, I found both my hands wrapped around her neck. 

 "Where is my s**t Eva, I asked as my voice rose to a thunderous roar.” She struggled to speak and I shook her like a rag doll and threw her to the ground. She seemed shocked and surprised; she wasn’t expecting me. She had to be sadly mistaken if she thought I was going to let this go again. There was no way I was going to let her put me in the whole for over ten pounds of weed. I wouldn’t even fix my lips to ask Vic to pay for that s**t. I owed him too much already. All I wanted to do was come home and take care of my family. Eva didn’t even appreciate that.              

I stood over her glaring as she sobbed and moaned. I felt nothing but rage and regret. "I smoked that s**t, b***h a*s n***a, she blurted hysterically!” Before I could say another word, I reacted by unloading a barrage of punches to her face and head. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth as she fought to keep consciousness.              I lost total control. She had taken me to this point many times and I always had the ability to walk away, but not this time. She was lying and not only that, she insulted my manhood. I had reached the point of no return, and in the very presence of my son. Because of my own childhood, that was something I said I would never do.             

He stood there trembling with tears in his eyes. I had to walk away. My anger faded just as quickly as it was ignited and at that point, there was no turning back. Although the damage had been done, it wouldn't be long before someone over heard the commotion and called the police. I snatched up any weed I could find, bagged up the rest of my clothes and bounced. I hated the fact that my lil n***a had to see me beating his moms, but that stupid b***h had it coming!

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