Women Of The Dark Side Forum Question

Has anybody here ever gotten a "You have emotional problems" when someone read their work? Just asking. ::tongue:: I sent one of my stories to my dad a few months back and he told my mom (not me) that I have emotional problems, and then did not call or email me for about 6 months. I finally had to initialize contact again and I think he forgot all about it. ::biggrin:: *hahaha*

I had a friend once call me at 8am, right after she'd read my story in an email, and say--before I had a chance to say hello-- "Shanna, you're fucked up" (pardon the language). I just laughed and said, "why?". She replied it was the story. *hahaha*

So just wondering.. what kind of other reactions have you girls gotten?

Thats why I never really let any one read my work until now. Its because I had this thing about folks stealing my ideas for the longest time. But I was told I was on drugs a lot but I did do some drinking when I wrote some of my literature in the past. I just wanted to know if I could write and be drunk I guess. Well, some of the stories did not turn out all that good but some did and I came up with some awesome scenes that were highly creative.

But like I said, I was told by my editor that the other Author, and myself were on some type of drugs. Who knows but sometimes that can be a good commented. I hate to say this but all writers have some type of mental thing whether its depression or a mental illness. They say that the work that we write is a reflection from Our lives and how we live.

In 'Death of a Vampire God' a lot about Evelynn the Vampire God is true in real life. I did go through a bad relationship and everyone, one way or another has to battle with some type of evil demons. Theres more but I don't want to go into details with it now.
But I won't let what others say about your writing bother you, folks will say any thing they want and there is nothing you can do about it, this is something you can't change.

Jean Elizabeth Walczak

I pretend it's a compliment. ::biggrin:: Which, in my mind, if you say "wow, that was beyond f*cked up" about one of my stories, then I did my job.

And I know I'm messed in the head, so it's not anything new when they tell me that.

It's just interesting to see who else among us has gotten that. I suppose that all writers have something.. especially writers of horror.. that leaks into the work. *LOL* I still remember that movie, "She-Devil" with Roseanne Barr and Meryl Streep. Streep was playing the other woman- a rich romance writer- and the next book she wrote after Barr's husband and kids moved in with her permanently tanked. Love In the Spin Cycle. Haha.. Or rinse cycle, or whatever. Anyway, I remember him arguing with her about how it was bad and he told her she shouldn't publish it, and she said "I'm an artist. My life is reflected in my work.." That's just always made me laugh.

Enough sharing from me.. ::drool::

Heh...yeah, I don't really share my work with poeple I know IRL, odd I guess. The poem I have submitted to writers cafe, Devoured by Madness, has really raised more than a few sympathetic comments. Poor psychotic me, right? LoL Couldn't possibly be a creative spark...nope, I must be schizo. :D

I have a published poem about a zombie. Unfortunately I can't share it, I don't have the right s to it anymore, but I wonder hwat poeple would have thought I was going through with that one..."Poor thing, had to dig herself out of a grave. Must be a tough life for you." ::cool::

I love the raised eyebrows that 'normal' people give in reaction to my writing. It gives me a sense of me being me, and not faking it for anyone's approval. Why be normal? Weird is so much more fun! WTH is normal, anyway?

I guess Im lucky in most respects, in my family everyone is weird in some way or another, so if you were normal, you just wouldnt fit in, lol. ::biggrin:: My children are the same too, they understand that being yourself is better than anything, even if others hate you for it. My daughters and I have a saying,

"It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not".

::confused:: I have a lot of mental probs from an abusive childhood, with pretty much any type of abuse you can think of being done, or used at some point in my life, ::cry:: so I would NEVER share my writing with my Mother or Step-Mother, since nether one deserves the right to see it ::mad:: . But my Brother and I (The one that didnt abuse me, so he is NOT in my work) share the same views on most things and he is on my other site with me, hehe, my page, a little shameless taping there! ::suprised:: And he reads all my writing, and comments on his views and though his is photo manipluation, which is very dark and strange, I do the same for him. ::happy:: OMG, I'm writing a bloody essay here! Anyway, yep Ive been told all those things before, and well, most of them are true, so I don't really care. Be who you are and never be ashamed of it. ::cool::

I think everyone has been hurt one way or another, and that reflects the way writers write their literature. I been hurt and I guess abused as a child, sense living with alcoholic parents his what I would call it. If that is not abuse than what would you call it. not, that I am being hateful for recalling this lifestyle from the past. In my writing it shows that I'm full of anger and very hostile is what I call it. I create my worlds so I can escape the real world and the BS that follows, and I love it.
Its funny that when I do write I do my best when I'm upset or mad. I wrote this novel that started to be a short horror story about a demon that ends the world. I had the demon kill the girl's parents, and the girl in the story was me. How mess up is that? I thought it was a way to release my anger and help me cope with how I felt at the time. I'm still working on the story and I hope to publish it soon.

So don't let folks say that you are twisted or mental for what you write. Its a way to release and cope with the real world. This is what makes us normal from those who are not as they find their selves in a mental hospital...

Yeah, I'm a firm believer in "that which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". That is so true. And childhood abuse sucks, but it made me the person that I am today, strong minded, outspoken, never walked on, and creative in the darkest ways. No, I wouldn't have it any other way!

We are those who have survived; and are better people for it. Not broken, but strengthened. Embracing what we have become, and accepting our past as what made us who we are, rather than blaming it for everything that goes wrong in our lives today!

Women of the Dark Side--I had no idea how appropriate that name would be!! LoL.

Sweet Nightmares!
Dana

You guys are so brave. Really. You're discussing your abusive childhoods and I think that's great. I can't do that at all. My husband wants me to see a head doctor to help me with my mood swings and everything else, but I can't. I don't want to remember.

It's hard enough being friendly with my dad now as it is.

I just can't believe you guys are discussing it so openly. You all get kudos in my book for that. ::biggrin::

its easier to discuss things like the abuse I suffered, simply because, on here I am just Fantasyfairy. No-one knows who I am, what I look like, or where I come from. I find that easy then. Talk to me in real life and I would NEVER mentin it, NEVER talk about it. I wrote my life story, and that is as close as I ever got to telling anyone, and since no one has even read it yet, it doesn't matter ::confused:: , does that make any sense? BTW, I went to see a head-doctor once, and found I still couldn't talk about most of the things that trouble me the worst, because a lot of them are only half memories, and I don't remember the before, after, how or why of these memories.

Eh, well, I am really Dana L. Freck, lol. But anyone who knows me knows a bit about my past in the least. Most of my friends have been lifelong friends and have seen and were at times my escape from some crazy s**t.

And even those who were just acquaintances probably saw a few fights between myself and my dad in our front yard anyway. Sometimes police came, sometimes they didn't. It's hard to keep it a secret when your on your own at 15 yrs old that something was wrong at home, lmao.

I wouldn't worry about how hard it is to talk to your dad right now. It takes a long time of being away from them to be able to tolerate them in small doses. When I was your age I was filled with rage towards my father, and any visit lasting longer than 5 mins would result in a physical fight. I was LOOKING for reasons to attack at that point.

But now I'm older, my dad is dying...he is also sober. I still don't visit like I should. I think he got 30 mins today (father's day). But I have come to terms with it most ways. I can talk about it, I can remember it...I was different than most though. I had a sister and mother who I saw a 'weaker' than myself. I knew I could take a beating better-both mentally and physically-than either of them, so if they were threatened, I made myself the target. I guess it hurt more to see them hurt.

But I'm not even gonna try to make it out like I had the worst childhood, way too many have it way, way worse. I actually had a good childhood (abusive father was manic depressive alcoholic, so he had his moments of being a great dad, too) and for every horrible memory, I have another wonderful one.

Cliched, but...gotta work with the hand you're dealt.

My parents got divorced when I was 11, about to be 12. So I don't have a really big problem seeing my dad so much because I haven't seen him much over the last 12 years anyway. I keep forgetting he exists- almost.

My dad was never an abuser like that- he never hit me or my sister although he had the most frightening temper. He wouldn't hit us but he'd hit anything around us instead. He dented a frigerator and broke my bedroom door right off the wall once when I asked a stupid question. (And it was stupid.. I have no freaking idea why I asked it. We were supposed to clean our room, and we hadn't gotten to it all day, so my dad made us go in our room and stay there and instead of cleaning we were goofing off and I leaned out the door and said, "Do I have to pick up my dirty underwear too?" And he lost.. He came running up, full speed, and I backed away from the door and he burst through it, throwing the thing off its hinges, yelling at the top of his lungs.. Suffice it to say, the room was clean an hour later..)

I'm not even sure if it was my dad, although my mom is fairly sure of it- she brought in the money, not him, so he saw us more often. And an uncle- his brother- stayed with us when I was a child. My uncle treated me like his own little doll, he bathed me, dressed me, did my hair and everything. I was in kindergarten, and my sister stayed home all day. He'd lock her outside and wouldn't let her back in, even if it was hot and she was crying for something to drink.

But I shy away from people touching me. If I don't know you or trust you, I don't like to be touched or hugged or anything and sex is hard for me. I just can't stand the act of it - I mean, I like it, I know it feels good, but I put it off as long as possible because I forget how good it felt last time, instead I keep thinking "bad, it's bad, it's bad" and I really can't explain that to my husband. That's part of why he wants me to see a head doctor.. but I think ignorance is bliss in this case. I can deal with being f-ed in the head, but what if a doc really figures out what's wrong with me?? I don't want to know.

And I'm like Fantasy-fairy. I've been to one before and never said a single word. I probably never will either. ::tongue:: I'm just quiet like that..

Man, I am so glad that I found you guys. I feel so at home! I sometimes think that I'm the only one who had an abusive/alcoholic father. He started beating me when I was only about three years old...I can't remember much. I've spent years repressing the memories. I posted a poem about him on the site, but I deleted it. It just reminded me of my childhood too much.

BTW, Dana, I agree with you about having Manic Depression. It's so trendy nowadays to say, "I'm Bi-Polar!" They have no idea what it feels like...The hallucinations, the medicine that makes you hallucinate even more, and the highs and lows. God, one time I broke a glass and threatened to cut my mom. I also tried to cut my boyfriends ankle...The list goes on. People look at me like I'm crazy when I say that, but that's how it is sometimes. I don't know. Maybe I really am crazy...