Losing a Race Rigged In Your Favour

Losing a Race Rigged In Your Favour

A Poem by sivan

The rain is pouring over me

washing away the evidence of you from my skin

so that I don't remember how it felt-

I curse that rain.

A forced memory

perhaps now only a hallucination

but I know it well

I know your smell

from countless encounters

brief aromatic impulses

Like dogs in heat

I don't have to be told

I just know; it's you

But the rain keeps pouring

as if to counteract my efforts

And while the pain is pushing through the surface armour

with brutality

the combination of hot on cold

can shatter me

I hold the image

you seem to have


from your filing system

so only I must bear the consequences of





aware that we can't fly

and thus expecting the fall

It seems I emerged unharmed!

You must have hit your head and contracted amnesia-

It's the easier remedy.

I stand with the trauma

playing like a movie in my heart

and you don't have to give it a second thought


Blatantly teasing my insecurity

Was it real?

Are you here now or am I dreaming?

My imagination

gets the better of me

In my mind

the events of that night held a merit to them

A certain mutual but

unwelcomed agreement of

the terms and conditions of

the act we performed

And now I take the shame

but behind your back

for I won't let you know

what that moment

has cost me.

© 2011 sivan

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you capture human emotions in such a photographic way, i can see. thanks for sharing.

Posted 12 Years Ago

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. there's little one can say ... when one reads something that is so intense ... and one can relate to ... in almost every way ... when words map precisely what is experienced ... with skill and sensitivity ... one is grateful one can read ... this is a very expressive piece of writing ... extremely intricate ... and extremely detailed ... i wish i could write something so profound ... so effortlessly ...

Posted 12 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on October 6, 2011
Last Updated on October 6, 2011



Durban, South Africa

I am a student of computer engineering... very technical yes but i like to get lost in the creativity of poetry and writing. Im an out and proud lesbian and if anyone doesn't like that well then that .. more..

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