There's something wrong with that girl on Comal Street

I become obsessed with finding this girl after seeing her only one time on my way to work. Once we connect, I find out there is something much more sinister underneath the surface.

She isn’t the most attractive girl i’ve ever laid eyes on. Her eyebrows are connected by a single strand of hair, her stomach a little pudgy, and her legs thicker than the average woman, but there was something about her. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on, but I wanted to know. There was an intense feeling of needing to know.

I often see her walking late at night on my drive to work. I work the graveyard shift, and don’t have to be in till midnight. So, between eleven and midnight, she would be walking on that same street, Comal. I remember the first time we locked eyes. I was parked at a red light waiting on it to turn green, when she walk passed my car, and peaked in at me. The feeling I felt was almost indescribable. It was like my inner being had floated away from me. At that moment the only thing certain was that I needed to see her again.

For the next week, I stayed alert as I looked out my windows and mirrors for her. She was nowhere to be found. Only a brightly lit laundromat, run down gas stations, and old dilapidated houses lined Comal Street. There were a couple times I even remained parked at that light as it cycled through its colors and still, nothing. Why was I so fixated on this woman I had seen only once? How could I be when I don't even know her name?

Comal is a rather long street. It stretches from one side of town to the other. Basically dividing the town of San Antonio in half. Maybe she was on the side I never travelled.  With that thought in mind, one night I left for work an hour and a half early, so I could make the journey required. My confidence was up. I knew I ran more of a chance of seeing her this way. It was an obsession. Anything that wasn’t about seeing her became secondary. It was my only mission.

I started playing it out in my head of what was I going to say to her. Obviously, I couldn't be honest, because that may freak her out. Imagine somebody coming up to you after you've seen them only one time, and them saying I can’t stop thinking about you, i've been attempting to find you every night. A little crazy, huh?

Leaving an hour and a half early quickly became two hours, and then three. All this work I was putting in finally paid off after doing this for a couple weeks. There she was. Right before me near that same red light. She was walking across the intersection heading away from my little black nissan.

The yellow streetlight highlights her appearance.She wears her hair in a bun that is pulled tightly by a hair tie. Her white shorts are skin tight and really complement her backside. Her legs jiggle slightly and are a golden tan.

My heart starts hammering in my chest, butterflies flutter in my stomach, and my palms become sweaty. The courage to speak to her suddenly becomes non-existent, but I can’t let her disappear again without at least getting her name. The light turns green and my tires screech as I put my pedal to the floor. I pass her up and quickly park in an Exxon parking lot. My car faces the street. I pause and take a few deep breaths, hoping to settle my nerves. This tactic fails me and I make a solemn oath to still go through with my plans.

I swing my car door open with great force. My feet hit the pavement as I step out of the car. The subtle humid night breeze hits me like someone blowing softly on my face.

She’s approaching where the gas station parking lot begins. Time ceases as she passes me and once again, we lock eyes.

“Excuse me!” I exclaim with great nervousness and hesitation.

She halts in her tracks, remaining silent. Almost as if a force tugs at me, I step closer to her. She remains still, anticipating what i’m going to say next. Frankly, I, myself was also anticipating it.

“You’re, you’re,” I attempt getting my words together, but all I can do is stutter.

“Spit it out,” she tells me playfully, cracking a smile, revealing her perfectly straight white teeth.

That’s exactly what I did. My next statement was practically impossible to make out due to how fast I said it. “You’re beautiful.”

Her lightly brown cheeks turn a light shade of red. She can't help but crack another smile at my flattering compliment.

“What's your name?” She inquires with interest.

Suddenly, i'm calmed by her obvious intrigue. She's sparking conversation and all I have to do is follow her lead.

“Brad. Yours?” I shake her hand.

It's soft like a newborn baby's. Delicate to the touch. An intense rush of lust, curiosity, and desire overwhelm me. My legs weaken and the ground i'm standing on becomes soft.

“Meridith,” she answers in a soft voice. A voice which entices me and draws me in closer.

Her eyes, a dark hazel color, turn to a light green. Completely enthralled by the moment, I don't notice. I slip into a state of hypnosis.

“Let's go somewhere else.” She tells me without asking.

“Okay.” I respond robotically.

We get into my car. Her aroma, a sweet smell, intoxicates me.

“I have a room up the street.” She places my hand on her inner thigh.

It remains unmoved the entire car ride. We pull into the parking lot of a run down motel.

Its color, a faded pink, and the wooden structure on the outside is rotted. The roof is constructed of cracked white tiles. Still in a state of hypnosis, I follow her to her room.

We enter, and the smell of stale cigarette smoke hits me in the face like a whirlwind. The walls are stained black in various spots from the smoke, and the white carpet is dug out in certain places as if by a dog, or some kind of other animal. This was weird seeing how there was no animal in the room. Because of my current hypnotic state, I failed to see the deep scratches in the door. These scratches were obviously caused by humans trying to get out.

She turns to me, and wears a sexual look on her face. It's a look in which i've never experienced. My desire has peaked, and a warm sensation washes over my body as she kisses me intensely. Her tongue which is rather long and pointed extends down my throat choking me just a little. She slips it out, pushes me onto the bed, and stands inches away from me.

“You taste different than the others,” she says menacingly.

I snap out of the trance i'm in just in time to notice her appearance start to change. She sticks out her tongue and flicks it in the air. It has changed into like that of a snake, long and split at the tip. Serpent like scales from beneath the surface of her skin push out, causing her to shed from her human form.

“Oh, f**k!” I scream.

Her face remains unchanged, except for her teeth. Once perfectly straight, they now extend downwards and each one of them turns to a sharp point.

Fear and adrenaline kick in at the same time. Im frozen in place, but I need to move, quickly! How do I get unstuck? If i'm unable to, I can't imagine what she's going to do. Although, despite her transformation, I am still captivated by this thing in front of me.

She stretches her arms out on either side of her. Her mouth opens and a loud screeching noise escapes her. It pierces my ears and I cover them in hopes of blocking out the deafening noise. This goes on for what seems like an eternity.

I stand and run to make my great escape, but she stretches her elongated arm out, and grabs the back of my shirt. Her razor sharp nails rip through my shirt and penetrate my skin. Surprisingly, I react quickly by attempting to take it off, but she pulls me into her chest. She wraps me in her suffocating grip. Air becomes harder and harder to attain. Her jaw dislocates and extends outwards to clamp down on my head. Amazingly, I slip through her slimy grip just in time.

I sprint out of the room and down the street without looking back. I haven't told anybody what happened that night, for I fear the ridicule I would face. My deepest regret about the situation is I wish I could warn the next poor man before he meets his fate in that hotel room. I wish I could tell him that there’s something wrong with that girl on Comal Street.

Reviews

[FJ Davis]

An intriguing narrative professionally conveyed.
God save us from those reptilian shapeshifters!

[TormentedTales]

I appreciate those kind words. Thanks for taking the time to read it!

[Zoya]

The title drew me in. It was an interesting story. Nice descriptions. You built the suspense well. I feel you can expand the story...it'll come out well. Good work!

[TormentedTales]

Thank you for reading.