Music Spills

To have an orchestra, you must have the people, the leadership, and the sheets.

Jack sagged his feet across the beaten cement path, busy thrashing his anger and frustration over his already lengthy search for ink. The liquid had been needed since yesterday because his orchestra was to perform later at night in one of the local times and they are yet to receive the sheets they need to perform their piece. Knowing that he, an inexperienced young man of his 20's, is unable to craft the miracle fluid, he began to look to the houses over the hilltops if he could find a solution. His neighbors might have something he could use.

He would knock his fist on the first house's door. It was a worn down door as if it had survived the great battles Britain had fought for and over in the past. As if the whole world had tried to stand on its wooden plane, and lost. Neighbor Rodwell opened the door. Jack tried to get ink from him, but he was simply too tough.

Sighing from his precious little 10 minutes of wasted time, he walks over to the next house and bang on the door. The brittle wood could not stand the power of Jack's fists and succumb to their years of standing. Neighbor Alice would step outside, surprised at the sight of her ruined door. Jack tried to get ink from her, but she was too thinned out. Typical for an octogenarian.

Panicking over his lack of time, he rushed to the third house and gave a powerful blow to the sturdy, newly affixed door. Neighbor Lyric would smile and answer the door. Giving no time to explain himself, Jack rushed inside and sucked out every single drop of Lyric's ink. It was just in time too, for the performance was already starting.

Later that evening, proud little Jack would conduct his grand orchestra as they played a dramatic piece by none other than Beethoven, Jack's favorite. The orchestra played like the meeting of the temparements and the choir sang like the heaven's hand caressing the earth itself. The performance was met with booming cheers and claps from the ecstatic crowd. Of course, this all wouldn't have been done if not for Lyric being written on the music sheets they needed. After all, a grand orchestra wouldn't be completed without grand, glistening notes.

Author's Note

Lyric is a female name. Yes, it bloody exists~

Reviews

[masterF9000]

These are just a few technical notes. I really enjoyed the story as a whole, especially the ending. But I have to say that I think the story would be better overall if it was extended. Right now you essentially have two defined plot points: the conflict and the resolution. There is no distinct climax. Jack is out of ink, Jack can conduct because he got his ink. If you had just a few more plot points, you could both establish the relationship Jack has with his neighbors (are they more than neighbors) and better develop why getting the ink is so important to Jack that he is willing to kill for it. If you do these things it will not only make your story longer, but also provide it with more depth.
Keep writing! You have a real talent for it :)

[PWyates]

The names are fantastic, something I always have a difficult time with. Also amazing piece of nuanced horror, my favorite horror works are like this. In the most unexpected of scenarios.

[Lavina Achaccosa]

Thanks! I tried for a more British tone here since, you know. British!

[Blood Stained Inu]

Heh, you are quite good at making subtle horror aren't you...? I feel your writing has definitely improved since Lydia Is A Smart Girl... Using unique names definitely adds to the mystique and creativity of the story... I'll have to keep my eye on you...