Just another part of me

Desolation 

Just another part of me

Growing up so fast

crumbling before my time

Here in this land my heart is so alone

Soaring so low

View shrouded in mist

Time a ever moving thing

appears to freeze while in motion

Mind playing tricks

Wrong and right seem the same

Life and death just a flip of a coin

Listen to my story for i am allowed only to tell it once

A girl forced to lay in a bed of liquid red

Eyes blinded by the shiny things

Body bruised and battered

Strength a game of the mind

Heart torn then shredded

a game

of life

and death

Just another part of me 

Reviews

Such an amazing piece of poetry. I am in awe. Your words are focused, and concentrated to the core you felt. Deep concentration is needed for that.
I admire it. I am glad I've read it. Keep on writing! :)

E.L.

[Nayan]

Beautiful write! There is mystery and there is pain. The poem is short, and so it connects more to the readers, but it also leaves them alone thinking about the 'girl'!

These lines are my pick -
"Wrong and right seem the same
Life and death just a flip of a coin"

"Desolation
Just another part of me"

"a game
of life
and death
Just another part of me"

I would like to know why the girl says -
"Listen to my story for i am allowed only to tell it once" ?

[V.J.C.]

I love to empower my readers with the imaginary ability to fill in the blanks and finish the stories in their own minds.

[afra]

i love this one .....keep writing

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

I LOVE YOUR POETRY VICTORIA, THIS IS WHY, I KNOW YOU AND I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU WRITE HAS MORE THAN ONE MEANING, WITH THAT BEING SAID YOU CAN'T EVER STOP WRITING BECAUSE YOU KEEP ME THINKING. A GIFTED AND TWISTED MIND YOU HAVE TALENT OF RAW POTENTIAL.

[Brittany]

This was very good. I'm really curious about the girl. I want to know more. I take things literally so I want to know about the bed she's lying in. How she got there. What she did if anything to deserve this punishment. Who's the punisher? What was the girl like before? What's the whole story?

[Dove]

I'm a tad speechless, I hope you don't mind that. There's somethig about this that I really like.