spanish aroma

spanish aroma

A Poem by A.K.Bruhn

 

listen to the spanish geutar

and feel the aroma of rythem flow all through

you

as she tangos her way twords you with a rose in her mouth

and beggingi brown eyes

she spoke to me in a language of movement

as i stood to lock fingers with her's as we rushed to the left and

she spins into my arms and we rock back,forth and left,to right

she spins again to meet me eye to eye

no words were spoken but a lifetime's worth of messages

were exchangened between us

 

© 2008 A.K.Bruhn


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This is really pretty - the imagery is quite strong. However, I strongly urge you to run it through a spelling and grammar checker - the typos make it very hard to understand. I'm a pretty terrible speller too so I can understand, but when you publish your work anywhere, even if it's just an online forum like this one, it's common courtesy to make sure your work is free from as many errors as possible. The changing perspective was also a little strange - it started in third person and then was taken over by an "I" narrator. I would suggest that you keep it to one voice to avoid this confusion. Keep writing.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is really pretty - the imagery is quite strong. However, I strongly urge you to run it through a spelling and grammar checker - the typos make it very hard to understand. I'm a pretty terrible speller too so I can understand, but when you publish your work anywhere, even if it's just an online forum like this one, it's common courtesy to make sure your work is free from as many errors as possible. The changing perspective was also a little strange - it started in third person and then was taken over by an "I" narrator. I would suggest that you keep it to one voice to avoid this confusion. Keep writing.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

love it man great stuff

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 17, 2008

Author

A.K.Bruhn
A.K.Bruhn

Rio Rico, AZ



About
Hello everybody my name is Tony i am 19 been writeing sence i was 13 still lovein it I love music all kinds from jazz to hiphop and a big sucker for love songs R&B and pretty much any other type .. more..

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