Who Burns Better?

Who Burns Better?

A Poem by AJNJ
"

Churning. Sunflare. Crimson. Flame. Pioneer. Hustle. Admire. Outpost. Fields. Dynasty.

"
Tell me, who is it you 
choose to admire?
A flame churning fire
Or a moth at its outposts
burning with desire 
Tell me, who in perishing
is a true pioneer?
The flame that hustles 
many a crimson flare
Or the moth that shuns
ripe fields, looking to burn
and sizzle as sunflare?
And for whom in the end
do you sigh and shed a tear?
The flame that dies out
knowing only to sear
Or the doomed dynasty 
of moths, choosing pain
over a fleeting life of fear 

© 2020 AJNJ


Author's Note

AJNJ
Ten Word Contest.......
~ Words contributed by Ms. Jamila.....

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

The moth and the flame, though a clichéd example but presented by you in a very unique way. Just like old wine in a brand new bottle. In the literary sense, the moth garners more sympathy but then I feel he is basking in the reflected glory of the flame. So to me both are burning equally.
I appreciate that you had 10 difficult words to base this poetry on and thats a tough task, yet I see you did it with a lot of flair and effortless writing. A poetry to return to for inspiration. Thank you.

Posted 1 Month Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

Thanks ton Ms. Sabrina. That's a very kind review and sure to keep me going. :)



Reviews

Indeed a very able entry for this contest which you have turned into a very readable poem with yet another message set down within it's rib cage.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

3 Weeks Ago

Writing it within those limits set was great fun. Thanks a ton sir, for all the kind comments today!.. read more
Great writing. Your style is impressive and skilled. 100 from me.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

Thanks a ton dear sir! You made my day :)
It's hard to believe this was a 10 word contest. This poem stands alone, I hope you at least won the contest. "In girum Imus nocte et consumimur igni" a Latin palindrome, translates to "at night we enter the circle and are consumed by fire". A moth allegory. What a terrific question your poem asks, both moth and fire must die, but then don't we all.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

I love your take on the poem. Yes both must perish after all. Thanks for the latin palindrome and fo.. read more
What an outstanding poem, and great use of the ten words you were given to craft something with! I thought for sure it was about burning in hell, or something to the likes; was totally surprised by the fact that moths are drawn to any light source, including a flame.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

The moths are attracted to the sun and the moon as a part of their navigational systems. They often .. read more
I think you've heard my 10-word rant & I must say this is the best presentation of a 10-word challenge that I've seen. I completely missed that this was a 10-word until I read your reviews. That's how it should be, not distracting. It's all about the message. I've never had a mental image of what "moth and flame" refers to in life, so your poem set me to pondering. Given an election is upon us, it's impossible for me not to interpret this with political overtones . . . the followers (moths) & the ones who hold out a torch for them to follow. The obvious answer would be that the flame is the most powerful or influential, but quite the contrary, as we saw in the 2016 election. The masses (moths) might come out en masse & surprise us again, so I'm not a bit calm as I wobble thru this last-week jittery election crunch (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

That's a suprb interpretation! The moth is indeed the gullible followers and the glitterati, the fla.. read more
Impressive creativity; cogent message.
Amazing, AJ!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

Thanks a ton dear sir!

Here you raise an interesting question .. I dunno whether to thank you first for presenting it wrapped in such fine form ... or Ms. Jamila for throwing those ten words in the air for you to catch and mix .. whatever the case you have arrived at a winning recipe .......



Posted 1 Month Ago


that is a very decent and easily read answer to the challenge
A difficult job really well done

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

Thanks a ton sir. The thing is to enjoy doing it.
Another wonderful poem that is full of great metaphors. Poor moths, always drawn to lights, they can't help it! You executed it amazingly here, but those poor moths. You certainly did them justice here.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

Thanks a ton Colacat! The poor moths needed someone to speak up for them :)
Moths are always drawn to flames.....and they rarely stay with just one. The flame is the lucky one...once the moth is burned, the flame will always attract more, won't it? Great metaphor. I didn't realize this was for a 10 word contest. The writing was not forced at all. Good work. Lydi**

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much for the great review, Ms. Lydi. Appreciated!

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

327 Views
19 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 25, 2020
Last Updated on October 25, 2020

Author

AJNJ
AJNJ

About
Call me AJ! I love to post a good poem every now and then. The love I receive is always returned in kind. Though I'm a pest sometimes 😁.... more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

A Poem by AJNJ


Bye Bye Bye Bye

A Poem by AJNJ