Splinter

A man realizes his splinter acquired during a wood-crafting activity is getting larger and is making him insane, so he starts to think the splinter is some kind of terrible sign of oblivion!

Ted was a happy accountant working in Manhattan and enjoyed spending time on his weekend hobby, making crafts and sculptures out of wood. Ted signed up at a craftsman's club in New York where amateur artisans gathered on weekends to use wood and other materials sometimes to make various artistic objects and sculptures. Ted wend to the workshop every weekend and made various items and creative objects and sculptures like giant keys, little animals, birds, a few cottages, cars, and even a flower! Ted always worked with wood, since that was his favorite material to use for his weekend crafts. He did this to relax from a week's long work of otherwise tedious typical modern urban bureaucratic office-work. One day, while in the workshop on a Saturday, Ted started thinking arrogantly and imagined he no longer needed to spend time working with wood-crafts.

That day changed Ted's life. While continuing to use wood to craft a submarine on that Saturday, Ted realized he'd procured a somewhat pronounced splinter in his right-hand thumb! Ted cursed to himself and wished he hadn't been careless and acquired the terrible splinter. He started slowly thinking the reason he got the cursed splinter was because he arrogantly said to himself he no longer needed the spiritually cathartic weekend wood-crafting activity, which was an obvious lie of spiritual denial. Ted wondered if he got the splinter that Saturday because he made that meaningless and vain lie to himself. He then wished he didn't say such a thing, since he sincerely was still grateful for the spiritually relaxing weekend wood-crafting activity at the workshop of his New York craftsman's club!

Three weeks passed, and Ted noticed that he still carried the annoying pronounced wood-splinter in his right-hand thumb. He decided he'd try to use a hot needle to try to surgically remove the annoying splinter himself. However, Ted was terrified of needles and piercing his skin or flesh in any way, and since the splinter was not too big, it wasn't a big enough worry to warrant a trip to the doctor. Ted decided he'd wait longer to just wait and see when the splinter simply would be naturally and normally pushed out by his growing skin! However, two more weeks passed, and Ted's right-hand thumb wood-splinter not only didn't disappear, but it also got bigger! Ted was now truly concerned. He couldn't explain why he saw that the splinter in his thumb was actually apparently larger in size!

One month later, the splinter got even a little bit larger and was still lodged in Ted's right-hand thumb. There was no pain or redness or swelling, but the splinter wouldn't be excised naturally and was bigger. Ted started losing his wits. Why was this splinter not leaving his thumb and flesh? Why and how the heck did it get larger? Ted wondered if he was hallucinating or feeling schizophrenically delusional and simply imagining that the annoying splinter had gotten larger. He started thinking back again to the cursed statement he made that Saturday in the wood-crafting club workshop and seriously wondered if the growing and lingering splinter was some kind of omen placed in Ted's thumb as a damning stigmata of some kind, so he decided to go see a Christian pastor/priest at the local Catholic church.

TED: I'm baffled by this cursing experience, Father!

FATHER BROWN: Keep things in perspective, Ted.

TED: Where is this splinter from and is it a curse?

FATHER BROWN: Don't believe you're cursed before you pray.

TED: I denied my spiritual appreciation for my wood-crafting activity.

FATHER BROWN: Maybe that's why you had that unlucky accident.

TED: I fear there's more to it than just that, Father.
FATHER BROWN: So you think it's a bad sign from God?

TED: I wonder if this splinter is reminding me of my spiritual failure.
FATHER BROWN: If it is that, just keep praying about what brings you confidence!
TED: I'll try...thank you, Father.

Ted felt comforted by the reassuring words and gentle advice of the hospitable Catholic pastor/priest, Father Brown, who consulted with him that day when he visited the Catholic church near his Manhattan apartment. Ted decided that this annoying splinter, be it a very bizarre and simply unlucky accident, or a larger and more symbolic and even ominous sign from an angered God, would not dominate his thoughts. Ted started praying every night before sleep and thanked God for the spiritual comforts he received in everyday life and for his rewarding and relaxing weekend wood-crafting activity. Ted promised God that if the splinter got bigger, he'd go see a doctor for immediate emergency assistance and then kept praying that the unwise cursing statement he made in his wood-crafting workshop that Saturday when he got the splinter in his right-hand thumb would not lead to some kind of terrible haunting!

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