The China Merchants Bank: Heist

Two Sloan (MIT) students decide to lift a gender-symbolic item from a bank holding the special valued item as they critique (and deconstruct) capitalism itself!

I wanted to sign-off with a special vignette inviting inquiry into the nature of capitalism-critique and if we use ideas regarding subversion to understand and sometimes even appreciate the weight of capitalism-dogma itself. This final yarn was inspired by the film Killing Zoe.

Thanks so much for reading,

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"Ajay Stan was an Algerian-American and Catholic but also admired the Hindu philosophies of Shaivism (the worship of the supreme Hindu king-god Shiva, master of destruction!). Ajay moved to America from Algeria and became a US citizen and was admitted into the MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) business-school (Sloan). Ajay became a scholar of capitalism-theory and modern economics and finance but had a strange penchant to remain highly-critical of modern economics. He decided to move to Beijing during summer break with his Sloan girlfriend (Kay Parot) and rob the Chinese Merchants Bank. Ajay Satan was a real modern-day capitalism Achilles (and he loved wearing masks!)."

"Ajay's girlfriend Kay Parot had her own idiosyncrasy. She loved argyle. She wore argyle socks, scarves, gloves, jackets, vests, and even underwear! In fact, she told Ajay that if the modern world was perfect, everyone would love argyle. Ajay found this charming and symbolically analytical of new age fashions and wanted to include Kay in his bank-robbery in Beijing that summer. He told her to put on her special argyle socks and select the right face-hiding mask for the grand heist. Kay began suiting up, since she was confident in Ajay's plan!"

"Sloan at MIT is where Ajay and Kay met. He was working on a grad-level paper about capitalism in the Third World, and Kay was currently studying the economics of nations with developed economies competing with the USA, specifically China. Ajay and Kay were very similar in that they were both odd-ducks and critics of capitalism, but they both loved the Catholic faith, and Kay was intrigued by Ajay's eccentric beliefs in Shaivism and was convinced it was the source for his inspiration to 'surgically dissect' capitalism in the real world. Sloan therefore gave Ajay and Kay a sort of intellectual (and romantic!) hammock."

"Of course, Kay had never handled a handgun before, so Ajay gave her a perfect replica toy handgun, black in color. She'd carry that into the bank with him, while he had a real silver handgun (with real bullets!). Ajay discovered that the China Merchants Bank that summer was holding a highly-valuable custom-made pure-gold soccer ball which was to be presented at the women's World Cup tournament in Beijing. Ajay decided he'd steal the gold soccer ball, melt down and reshape the gold and make transportable/wearable jewelry and flee to the Virgin Islands with Kay Parot (his girlfriend!)."

"Security was tight at the Chinese bank in Beijing that day. Ajay knew he'd have to get in, get the gold soccer ball being held in the high-voltage vault, and then escape with Kay to the Virgin Islands somehow. He recruited two female employees who were working inside the bank that day (Daisy Chen and Pippi Lee) and told them he'd have a computer-hacker scramble the security-system before he and his friend (Kay) entered in masks seeking to capture the gold soccer ball from the vault. Daisy and Pippi were to pretend to be very scared and compelled to lead them inside the vault. When Ajay and Kay entered wearing their funny masks and carrying briefcases (with the security-system already scrambled and disarmed about 30 minutes prior to their entry!), the customers, guards, and tellers/employees wondered what was happening. Kay took out his handgun and fired one shot into the roof after locking the entrance-doors to the bank with padlocks he'd told Daisy and Pippi to hide inside! He then kept Daisy and Pippi hostage while his girlfriend (Kay) tied up the guards and ordered the other customers and employees to sit cross legged in the bathroom."

"The mask Kay Parot wore on the day of the robbery was a fun blonde comic book superheroine mask. No one knew Ajay and Kay were actually Sloan (MIT) students attempting to steal the women's World Cup soccer ball! Ajay and Kay had Daisy and Pippi get inside the locked vault and steal the gold soccer ball and carried it out in a duffel-bag and hopped onto a bus and boarded a plane to the Virgin Islands. Ajay then had the gold melted down and shaped into gold Christian crosses. He sent Daisy and Pippi two of these crosses by airmail. Ajay told his girlfriend (Kay Parot) the mask she chose that day for the heist was ideal. They intended to complete their Sloan (MIT) studies the following year, after taking a year off to live in the Virgin Islands. It was a really adventurous heist."

"The gold soccer ball Ajay and Kay stole was really symbolic of modern capitalism, and therefore, it was the ideal trophy for the heist signifying their shared political 'critique' of modern economics/civilization itself! Ajay joked to Kay that his economics-mentor at MIT, Dr. Steven Randle, would've been proud, since he worked with Randle on various ideas of using 'revolutionary practices' to derive 'leviathan-like' geometric proofs of the structural integrity...and flaws of capitalism. The gold soccer ball was Ajay's trophy and personal sign that even capitalism idols and fineries were somehow 'artifacts' for creative new age capitalism studies."

"While Ajay and Kay were in Beijing, Hollywood (USA) super-celebrity Tom Cruise was making a film there about samurais. In fact, Ajay and Kay saw some of the production sequences of the exciting new film prior to their heist of the gold soccer ball from the China Merchants Bank that summer! Cruise believed everything of real civilization weight was now more or less made in America, so he wanted to do a personal exposition into the intricacy of Eastern culture and society, which is why he was there making movie about samurais. Ajay and Kay took photos of the celebrity-film and its cast and staff while in Beijing (for Kay Parot's future thesis-related blog about modern links between media and democracy!)."

"The gold soccer ball was made by a high-profile businessman and owner of a European club-soccer team. On the day of the robbery, this owner's daughter, Madeleine, was inside the bank taking photos of the lofty institution holding the gold ball which would be presented at the feminism-significant women's World Cup soccer tournament. Madeleine was furious that shifty robbers decided to steal the gold soccer ball, but she wondered if she could somehow 'spin' this in the favor of intriguing media. Madeleine decided to write a short-story in the New Yorker about general buzz and excitement created by the heist of a golden artifact linked to a major women's athletic event at the international level. Though Madeleine didn't know who Ajay Satan and Kay Parot were, she'd turn them into 'capitalism' celebrities with her Pulitzer-winning story in the New Yorker."

"Kay and Ajay wore the gold Christian crosses made with the melted down gold of the stolen golden soccer ball while they were in the Virgin Islands enjoying the fruits of their labors/studies. They would return to Sloan (MIT) and complete their studies on time and get married and settle down in New Zealand, where Kay could begin work on her economics theory book about capitalism-in-action! They intended to be the first-ever 'scholarly' thieves. How would capitalism itself evaluate their special/unique contribution to civilization critique?"

"Ajay purchased a silver Lotus Esprit with some of his share of the gold. He drove around Kay in it. He was pleased. He thanked Jesus and Shiva for his success. He decided he'd become a successful capitalism advocate as well as critic! He decided he'd not continue work in economics but rather open a tourism-friendly pub and nightclub in the Virgin Islands while Kay Parot (his now-wife!) worked on her economics book. This was a perfect 'democratic' story."

THE END

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