Counterfeit Cash: The Prince's Drywall

A Story by Abishai100

Isaac relates how he worked with a Saudi investor and bank guard to stage a counterfeit-money presentation veiled heist of a dreamy LA bank!

Here's one last heist tale about counterfeit consciousness, foreign investors and princes, and of course, modern dressings!

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This is the story of how I staged a rather theatrical robbery of an LA bank containing a vault with $20 million cash belonging to a controversial Saudi prince living in Hollywood, California. My name's Isaac. I'll walk you through my robbery, and you decide if it's worthwhile and folk-tale worthy. Here's my photo!

The first ingredient to this robbery is a duffel-bag full of counterfeit money. I took some of this counterfeit money and made my way into the Hollywood estate of the Saudi prince, Abdul Amah-Rani (AAR). I told AAR I was a photojournalist from Europe analyzing American investors in the new millennium before I showed him my heist plan of his bank vault. I calmed the prince down and explained I'd stage a theatrical presentation of counterfeit money swapping at the LA bank in a Jesuit gear and mission presentation to the pre-trained guard and calmed crowd of bank personnel and customers on the day of the heist. I also told the prince I'd only be taking his money, and I'd give him half of what I stole, and he could gain double from the insurance! He was oddly intrigued, because he too was an amaetur scholar of counterfeit money tracks and trains.

This is the LA bank which is the location of the heist. The Saudi prince agreed to deposit about $2 million in counterfeit bills I provided him into his vault one week prior to the heist. I would walk in wearing a Jesuit costume to the heist with a mission involving the Saudi prince's wealth. I'd also fashion a fake wig and beard as part of my Jesuit costume, along with sunglasses. Isn't this LA bank amazing?

I then procured the home address of one of the bank guards and visited his home and explained the plan I arranged with the Saudi prince regarding presentation of a counterfeit swapping demo at the LA bank and how he'd be renumerated for his services in enhancing the presentation of the finance demo at the LA bank. I assured him the presentation was a mission for finance dioramas and showed him the signature of the Saudi prince. He agreed to be of cooperation on the day of the grand heist, which was great, given that he looked otherwise serious and grumpy!

PRINCE: "This plan better work Isaac, or else, I'll bury your head in the deserts of Arabia!"

So I walked into the LA bank in my Jesuit outfit and pulled the pre-trained guard I visited earlier to announce to the manager and customers and other guards my arrival. I arrived in the same wig and beard and Jesuit outfit I wore to the guard's house when I trained him for the counterfeit money swapping demo to the bank personnel. The guard temporarily locked the bank's front entrance during this presentation hosted and financed and sponsored by the Saudi prince, the largest account holder in the LA bank, a private and federally insured institution. I walked in after being announced and explained my counterfeit money swapping demo was a thing of great modern symbolism, and I showed them I brought a fun toy water-rifle fitted with an inner-glass tube containing corrosive HCL acid. I shot the acid-gun at a wood-board I brought with me and showed everyone how it burned a hole right through the wood! The bank personnel and guards and customers laughed with glee, realizing they were being shown a special counterfeit dangers money swapping demo on behalf of the wealthy Saudi prince.

ISAAC: "The key to this demo is to understand how counterfeit money is the hallmark of modern evil and darkness; as you can see from the personal vault of the Saudi prince I've obtained permission to open, there're marked counterfeit bills. I will now take $20 million of the prince's real money from the vault and replace it with $20 million in counterfeit bills I brought with me in my duffel-bag. I work for a Jesuit organization working with Muslim investors from the Middle East seeking to use capital and capitalism to finance new age globalization oriented commercial customs in America. This counterfeit money I've swapped into the Saudi prince's vault and which I'll deliver to him later represents the absolute corruption of Western assets in a time of otherwise great commercial dilemmas. I hope you'll think about why Jesuits are concerned about new age capitalism dilemmas!"

Now, you see from this photo that the inside of this LA bank is truly remarkable and built in an 'old-world style' meant to highlight our social admiration of the sacredness of modern finance. I was truly honored to be stealing from such a bank and with the help of this Saudi prince who oddly found the entire 'counterfeit omen' symbolism ironically quite dioramic. This bank is really beautiful.

I took an LA taxi with the $20 million of the prince's vault money to the prince's estate and gave him half as promised and he provided an escort for my escape-flight to the Virgin Islands, once I deposited my money in a privately opened new Swiss account in Europe, safe from all modern concerns about international conflicts and wars. The prince then announced that the entire Jesuit demo he thought he agreed to was actually staged by a dastardly thief who tricked him into obtaining the necessary permission to stage the entire dioramic ordeal. The LA Times called me a modern Dillinger. I'll never forget my taxi ride to LAX that day!

I used some of my money to buy diamonds in the islands and retired after opening an island tourism pub, which has become quite popular. Ironically, I learned a personal valuable lesson about the magic of money and the importance of respecting money and why perhaps truly counterfeit money is really a hallmark of modern anti-capitalism dread.

SAUDI PRINCE: "We hope this incident will serve to remind everyone of the dangers of un-insured Western assets in a rapidly changing and commerce-centric dated world."

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)