Thief Army: Decameron

A unit of thieves in British Columbia stage blood-diamond surfs before hopping on an Aer Lingus flight to divinity.

One more blood-diamond opus, but this one's more like a 'deer' fable, so I hope you all like it, 

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There were diamonds everywhere because of the normal gem market global and also because of the modern nefarious underground trafficked blood diamond highway from South Africa. An army of thieves called Decameron wanted to lift these diamonds and move them around and cause some stir regarding the sullying of the global gem market because of baron-warlord activity stretching from South Africa to Belgium!

Diamonds are a girl's best friend, and for this age of high-traffic consumerism, diamond ads comprise a major sector of Facebook ads, airline magazine ads, TV commercials, and much more! Diamonds are valuable and on the minds of many a girl shopping at today's supermarkets.

The thief army known as Decameron were aware of this and tracked a major diamond labyrinth to British Columbia (Canada), where they'd pose as ice-hockey fans for the Canucks teams while orchestrating a diamond-heist of a Vancouver bank, belonging to a corrupt Dutch baron.

The thief army known as Decameron was comprised of three foreign world travelers, Isaac, Marcus, and Damian. The three thieves varied their tactics and sometimes wielded water-guns filled with corrosive acid, useful for burning open diamond safe-boxes in banks across North America. The Decameron thief-army wanted to revolutionize the diamond exchange with careful methods of basic highway subversion!

ISAAC: I'm an Ivy League graduate and mastermind behind this Vancouver plan.

MARCUS: The Decameron thief-army is dedicated to cleansing the diamond typhoon.

DAMIAN: I just want to have some fun in British Columbia, folks.

It was rumored that the Decameron thief-army had some kind of social base-station in Eastern Europe or Romania. Perhaps they're vampires from Transylvania! Jokes aside, the Decameron thief-army did indeed like collecting Romanian toys and antiques with their heist bounty. They'd robbed over 30 banks across the Americas and Europe in just 2 years.

Vancouver was their target, and they'd now been unofficially tracked by both the FBI and Interpol. The Decameron thief-army wanted to select British Columbia (Canada) for its special investments in the 21st Century blood-diamond highway and gem global exchanges. Vancouver became the symbolic city for the Decameron.

The Decameron thief-army met at a Vancouver bistro for brunch on the day of the diamond-heist of the baron's gems.

The Decameron thief-army would walk into the Vancouver bank with masks and disguises, claiming they're from a local theater group trying to inspect the gem holdings of local patrons and take photos of their safe-boxes while depositing their own (fake!) diamonds in the bank. Once inside the vault-room with the safe-boxes, the thieves would reveal to the escorting manager/guardsmen that their novelty toy water-guns were indeed filled with corrosive acid, providing them with the necessary arms to lift the valuable gems and switch them with their fakes while making media-savvy photos for their stunt-theatrics fakely tied to baron-gem journalism theater. It was a Comedy of Errors in diamond exposure!

ISAAC: The entire message was the theater of blood-diamond puns.

MARCUS: The bank personnel simply conceived us as an outlandish circus!

DAMIAN: This will make big news in British Columbia, friends.

The Decameron thief-army followed up this outrageous diamond-heist of the Dutch baron's gems at the Vancouver institution with a nearby bank robbery using a self-assembled plastic machine-gun, with parts pre-hidden inside the bank bathroom the day before the day of the actual afternoon heist, friends! This bank robbery resulted in about $4 million cash profit, while the Dutch baron's gem-heist was a $20 million lift.

The Decameron thief-army decided to stay in British Columbia (Vancouver) for a while and take in the scenery and ride the SkyTrain and take snapshots of the Canadian haven with their handy-dandy iPhones. They wanted to appreciate the labors of the vigilante-ambitions to clean up the horrifying global modern warlord and terrorism linked blood diamond highway in Vancouver.

Isaac met a gorgeous woman in Vancouver named Valerie. She's a Kentucky Derby investor with a special love of diamonds. When Isaac gifted her with a custom-made Romanian tiara fitted with million-dollar diamonds from Antwerp, Valerie fell in love! The two were now engaged in a somewhat dangerous love-affair, but Isaac considered this the perfect non-crime Canadian dream.

Isaac took Valerie to some Vancouver fan ice-hockey games and showered her with his love, and she was somewhat thrilled by all this attention despite her apparent lack of interest actually in the Canadian sport of ice-hockey.

Vancouver's ice-hockey team won a great tourney that season, and Isaac kissed Valerie, and their photo was presented in an ice-hockey fan arena article in a sports magazine in Canada.

When Isaac bought Valerie a vintage Lotus, the FBI and Interpol were suddenly on the track of the Decameron thief-army. They didn't want vigilante-interference in the modern blood-diamond global game tied to African warlords and terrorists like Cobra. However, Isaac was clever and cleaned his Lotus purchase through a special TV salesman named Roy Finkle!

BANK MANAGER: We've had to revamp our security processes since that weird thief-army theater involving baron-gems.

Marcus met a nice young woman in Canada too and gifted her special purchased Vancouver bonds and stocks. This was an invested love-experience for the otherwise hard-working Decameron thief-army in British Columbia. Would it yield positive results for FBI/Interpol interceding blood-diamond diseases?

ISAAC: We're off to Ireland on Aer Lingus, brothers!

MARCUS: We need a move from British Columbia now.

DAMIAN: You two are still fondly in love in your dreams.

Blood diamond exchanges have become so deadly and nefarious that they've tarnished the quality of diamond folklore in the modern world. That's why we need to be more curious about the status and nature of modern gem-matrix diabolique. Stay safe!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)