Ice-Hockey Team: The Bank Robbers

A Story by Abishai100

A team of slick bank robbers are actually members of a local California ice-hockey team, creating a blood-diamond media delusion!

A blood-diamond heist parody, mixed with inspired non-referential local sports-fanfare, inspired by the dot-perfect films Slap Shot and Diamonds Are Forever. Enjoy!

----

====

In the idyllic area of San Jose (California), a team of bank robbers were part of a celebrated local ice-hockey team, making the area both energized...and complex.

The ice-hockey team went by the name the Sharks, and the thieves who're part of the team were excellent athletes who helped their team claim the championship title and wanted to perform some extra-curricular adventure to highlight their love of San Jose, the Sharks, and the aura of sports folklore.

Ice-hockey is a sport requiring great finesse and swiftness and team-play, with two opposing teams striking shots at each others' goals while defenders seek to swindle them of the sliding puck-piece on the slick ice from their hockey-sticks, making ice-hockey a sport comparable to the shine and electricity of diamonds!

The Sharks were thrilled to capture their championship trophy, but the quartet of team-members who're planning an elaborate diamond-heist the following season conspicuously opted not to appear in the trophy-celebration team photo for the local magazine!

The diamonds were stored in a safe-box in a California area bank by the capitalism-baron Norman Trump, a close relative of a very illustrious American politician, rumored to be mired in some foreign blood-diamond highways stretching to Africa and potentially linked to some questioned warlord-diaries.

The thieves were Claud, Marcus, and Chris. Claud and Marcus played midfield offensive players on the Sharks, while Chris was a forward-striker.

The thieves were to dress up in elaborate masks and disguises and burst into the California area bank with the safe-box of blood-diamonds belonging to Norman Trump ("NT") and driven to the bank by their fourth team-member, Jonny.

Jonny had been a lifelong ice-hockey fan and athlete and had a really hot girlfriend named Suzy Candle, and he was the getaway driver and fourth member of the Sharks bank robbers and was therefore simply clean-shaven and not in mask or disguise.

CLAUD: This bank is really impressive, and we'll need to be precise and perfect!

The masked trio of Sharks bank robbers burst into the bank lobby wielding what seemed to be toy water-guns and screaming to the teller-security booth, "We have liquid nitrogen in these water-guns, and we'll freeze the glass in this teller-booth window set if we don't get immediate access to Norman's safe-box of blood-diamonds for some revealing Interpol photos of African gem terrorism for the California newspapers!"

The bank personnel and customers were shocked and horrified, and they didn't want to test and see if the masked trio of outrageous bank robbers were in fact wielding guns loaded with deadly freezing liquid-nitrogen ("LN"), so they gave the thieves (Claud) access to Norman's safe-box of blood-diamonds so he could take Polaroids of the African gems, and Claud switched Norman's diamonds with fake ones hidden in his shoes, while the other two distracted the escorting manager/guardsman, and no one interceded in this 15 minute heist, since no one was sure if these guys were bandits or some kind of government-operating American spies!

The heist itself with the switch was performed with a tedious drill-gun which was used quickly by Claud to open the safe-box without mess of media or key dabbling among the questioned bank personnel, to make the entire photo-operation seem like some kind of quick-witted authority-linked blood-diamond monitoring debacle.

Jonny waited for the three Sharks bank robbery team-mates to rush into his getaway car and sped to a safe distance where they hopped out together to board a San Jose subway-train while Jonny drove his car into a telephone pole to distract police and authorities, creating a loud area distraction so less media attention would be afforded to what would seem to be some kind of discreet government-operated bank blood-diamond disclosure feat of Norman Trump's African gems!

The reported assigned to this bizarre case was none other than famed San Jose news-woman Connie Lemieux, herself a local Sharks fan, and she simply insisted there was much more to this Norman Trump ("NT") blood-diamond adventure than met the human eye, folks.

Afterwards, the Sharks bank robbers were toasted during their regular-season of ice-hockey competition with a special team commemoration Sharks figurine, celebrating one of their past legends, the handicapped but truly gifted offensive player known as BB.