Goldfinger: Watches

A Story by Abishai100

A wily pirate named Sparrow attempts to outwit a ruthless treasure-collecting baron (Goldfinger) by creating a toy-ditch.

A funny Bond-modeled mansion-heist vignette inspired by Out of Sight. Enjoy,

----

====

Baron Goldfinger lived in his mansion in North America and kept his blood-diamond (warlord-mined gems from Africa/Europe used to fund terrorism!) treasures like his signature 'gold-diamonds' and 'diamond-watches' in a vault-room in his mansion.

GOLDFINGER: I'll make a treasure-trunk of conflict-gem treasures and keep it in my mansion vault-room!

Goldfinger's mistress Octopussy was a female fury and expert knife-thrower and guarded the vault-room of his mansion, and if any rascal attempted to steal his treasures, she'd try to cut off the thief's jewels.

However, Goldfinger's dark dominion was about to be outwitted by the deeds of a rascal-pirate named Sparrow who entered the mansion one weekend night as a special photojournalism-guest seeking photos of the baron's conflict-gem treasures for a new baron-fortune article in Vanity Fair.

SPARROW: Those conflict-gem treasures kept by Goldfinger represent modern terrorism, and I'll outwit the gargoyle.

SPARROW: Thanks so much for letting me take these Polaroids of these gem-treasures from Europe/Africa, baron.

Sparrow was a man of great Ivy League education and blood-diamond infiltration work linked with Interpol-relations in North America, and this nerdist-of-piracy showed up at Goldfinger's mansion steps as a spy of capitalism.

GOLDFINGER: Why're you in that ridiculous 'Arabian' reporter-getup, Sparrow?
SPARROW: I don't want fat kings to see through my journalism veneer, and I do things with flair, baron.

Sparrow got Goldfinger terribly drunk on customized Pina Coladas at his mansion and distracted his assassin-mistress Octopussy with his toy-guns filled with acid, for special safe-box metal burning demos for the Vanity Fair article on baron safe-boxes in mansions. Meanwhile, Sparrow switched 3 of Goldfinger's conflict-gem diamond-watches with toy watches and left them in the safe after memorizing the rotary-dial code which Goldfinger exposed while opening the safe in the vault-room of his mansion in front of Sparrow.

GOLDFINGER: My vault-room is my shrine to modern mansion-securities in North America.

OCTOPUSSY: I wouldn't let just any pirate sneak in and get 'fingerprints' on my beloved's dark jewels.

The next morning, Sparrow climbed out of his guest-bedroom window using drape-roping and left in place of the blood-diamond Goldfinger watches he stole with toy cartoon watches, part of his mock-photojournalism 'session' for Vanity Fair! Goldfinger had no choice but to tell VF, "We're in some joint commercial endeavor to donate gem-watches to charity for toy-drives for children on the East Coast."