Honduras Heist

A team of pirate-thieves travel to colorful Honduras to perform a daring blood-diamond heist from Ficohsa Bank and discover capitalism doilies.

A great and fun blood-diamond heist (last one?) set in colorful Honduras and inspired by Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Enjoy! 

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A team of vigilante-thieves calling themselves the 'Pirates' traveled to Honduras to track a blood-diamond baron who's smuggling terrorism-financing gems into North America from South America. Honduras is unique, so the Pirates, comprised of three Algerian-American men (fraternity-brothers from Dartmouth), Amlan, Marcus, and Raki, found the country quite interesting and colorful.

AMLAN: Baron Goldfinger's hiding his blood-diamonds in the Ficohsa bank.

MARCUS: I want to enjoy some Honduran food and women before this baron-heist.

RAKI: Me too!

So the 'Pirates' lived it up in Honduras before the day of the Goldfinger baron-heist at Ficohsa bank. They met gorgeous women and ate incredible South American foods.

RAKI: The food is so darn under-rated.

The 'Pirates' (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) rode into the Ficohsa bank area on the capital-city metro and picked up the parked stolen scooter-bike they placed near the bank area the week prior with a chain.

The 'Pirates' (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) marched into the Ficohsa bank that day of the Goldfinger-heist costumed as theater circus performers wielding toy water-rifles, which were actually filled with corrosive HCL acid.

GOLDFINGER: No one better touch my terrorism-diamonds in Honduras!

AMLAN: Honduras has a rich history in law-enforcement, so we want to respect all security parameters here!

The 'Pirates' (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) told the bank manager they wished to deposit their own (fake!) diamonds in the safe-box neighboring the one owned by the 'notorious' Baron Goldfinger, further claiming their circus team was to perform at his mansion soon. The bank manager had a guardsman escort the toy-gun theater-group to the safe-box area so they'd deposit their own circus-company diamonds near the one owned by Goldfinger himself.

BANK MANAGER: Business was normal that day and we expected nothing out of the ordinary!

The bank was having average/normal business, and the 'Pirates' (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) passed themselves off inside the Ficohsa bank that day as colorful artists in costumes with business as 'colorful' as Goldfinger's was famous (in Honduras!). The escorting guardsman was even amused by their offbeat costumes inside the working popular Honduran bank that day.

Once inside the vault-room of Ficohsa bank, the 'Pirates' (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) revealed to the escorting guardsman that their toy water-rifles from their circus-company were actually filled with corrosive HCL acid. When the manager got frightened and reached for his handgun, Amlan carefully grabbed his arm, threatening to shoot acid on his shoes and all over the metal panels of multiple customer-account safe-boxes unless they have singular access, peaceful and quiet, to Goldfinger's safe-box which contained blood-diamonds linked to terrorism-financing and threatening Ficohsa bank security/prestige. They didn't want trouble from the troubled guardsman inside the vault-room that heist-day.

The guardsman complied and helped them open up the Goldfinger safe-box after placing a veil over the single security-camera. Inside the Goldfinger box, the 'Pirates' (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) found the valued terrorism-financing blood-diamonds as well as government-issued questionable bearer-bonds. They took both groups of valuables and told the guardsman to keep quiet about the bearer-bonds. The 'Pirates' (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) then delivered to the Honduran newspapers the anonymous note, "Pirate-artists stole Baron Goldfinger's terrorism-financing gems to remove the dangerous grip the corrupt capitalism-baron is placing on the Honduran gov't with his extortion-bonds meant to exploit global economic waves, which is why we're redistributing these bond-assets for Honduran charities!"

PIRATES: We honor the wishes of everyday Honduran investors frustrated by the evil grip of blood-diamond capitalism.

Marcus and Raki carried the stolen goods to the safe-house by Metro, while Amlan took the placed scooter-bike from before and rode it to an Interpol-relations hub where he'd negotiate the exchange of the valuables for private agency-assets for a Zurich transfer-account. The cops meanwhile didn't know which member(s) to track (Marcus and Raki...or Amlan!).

Amlan had a dream that night while sleeping in which he's visited by the 'specter' of a great White-Dragon who challenges his Robin Hood sensibilities following this incredible Honduran heist of the evil Goldfinger blood-diamonds. He'd never forget it.

WHITE-DRAGON: So, you're nothing more than a terrorist?
AMLAN: I'm the diametric opposite of a terrorist!
WHITE-DRAGON: But you are indeed a wily thief!
AMLAN: I'm not just a regular bandit or hoodlum...I'm a vigilante.
WHITE-DRAGON: Like Robin Hood?
AMLAN: Everyone loves Robin Hood.
WHITE-DRAGON: Like you?
AMLAN: I like Robin Hood most of all!
WHITE-DRAGON: Why?
AMLAN: He reminds me that vigilantes adore social journalism.
WHITE-DRAGON: Do you believe blood-diamonds will destroy capitalism?
AMLAN: Why'd you ask?

WHITE-DRAGON: You've learned of the 'street-value' of organized democracy.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)