The Last Great Train Robbery!

A Story by Abishai100

The Rascals dare a great train blood-diamond robbery for a UK-piracy intervention designed to create overground Parliament dowries!

A blood-diamond train-adventure inspired by the classic Western civilization film The First Great Train Robbery (Sean Connery). Enjoy!

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A special train from Dublin (Ireland) to Belfast, Northern Ireland (United Kingdom) was transporting corrupt 'blood-diamonds' (warlord-mined gems from Africa/Europe used to finance crime-syndicates!) owned by the corrupt mysterious baron Goldfinger.

The 'Rascals' are a team of pirates/thieves who work as guerrilla-intelligence agents with Interpol-relations subverting piracy blood-diamond traffic/smuggling heading into already troubled Northern Ireland where unemployment rates among the Irish-Catholic minority living alongside a British-Protestant majority (descended from generations of English colonial settlers) create piracy-and-crime frustrations/motivations, complicated by this new era 'blood-diamond' problem. The Rascals form the new underground infiltration 'unit' called the 'Foreign Irish Republican Army' (F-IRA) and happen to be Algerian-Americans of Catholic-convert faith but aren't Irish themselves. The Rascals are versed in the political paradigm parallel comparison work of Eamon de Valera, exploring the themes common between India and Ireland's struggle for independence from British-Protestant colonial rule in the 20th Century.

The Rascals are composed of three agents --- Amlan, Marcus, and Raki.

The Rascals arrive at the Dublin train-station in Ireland and board the train heading to Belfast carrying Goldfinger's blood-diamonds. The Rascals have fake passports and present themselves as thespians traveling to Belfast (Northern Ireland) for a special theater-show in the UK about diamonds.

RASCALS: The Dublin-Belfast train heads to Northern Ireland and we'll have just 2 full hours to coordinate the heist!

Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams has expressed in negotiations with UK Parliament regarding improved socioeconomic conditions and affirmative-action employment policies in Northern Ireland favoring the struggling and under-represented Irish-Catholic minority the 'trouble' with modern blood-diamond traffic and how it 'corrodes' overground commerce/economics talks and is worried about the 'gossip' surrounding Baron Goldfinger transporting blood-diamonds on the Dublin-Belfast train this winter.

RASCALS: The train is quite nice and we make our way to our assigned seats and mingle with the passengers in the bar-car!

GOLDFINGER: My $20M precious Sierra Leone gems shall make it to Northern Ireland and fund my new agenda underground!

RASCALS: We've known of great train-robberies in the UK-Ireland area before, and this one will highlight modern piracy fears.

The Rascals (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) quickly get into their theatrical heist-costumes in the Dublin-Belfast train lavatory and walk out wielding their theater-prop toy water-rifles which are now filled with corrosive HCL acid which they've made in the bathroom with separate plastic-bottle materials of non-corrosive nature with a little heating device and fill the inserted thin-glass tube inside the toy water-rifles' shooting-piston and proceed to the train conductor's booth.

RASCALS: We take the train hostage with the conductor/driver and show our 'Foreign Irish Republican Army' badge (Interpol).

CONDUCTOR: All we knew was these 'Rascals' were tied to Interpol and Sinn Fein works with Gerry Adams and Parliament.

The Rascals demand that the train's security officer direct them to the area where Baron Goldfinger's blood-diamond safe-box is held and burn the box open with their 'acid-gun' and swap the diamonds with toy diamonds before resealing the box with special caulk in their briefcase. They tell the security officer to tell the media in Northern Ireland (United Kingdom), "Goldfinger shall find caulked toy gems inside his precious smugglers box in the Dublin-Belfast train and must explain to the UK Magazine (and press!) what smuggling has to do with new era UK dollars before Interpol returns his valuables."

RASCALS: We're actually from an American academy where a special named fraternity signifies our commitment to Interpol!

When the Rascals arrive in Belfast train station, they realize the security officer found a way to radio-ahead to British police to prepare for these suspect-thieves who're transporting the Goldfinger piracy-gems claiming Interpol-relations.

BRITISH POLICE: We had extra security precautions that day at the station, since the princess was there taking photos!

The Rascals spot the armed British police standing outside the train and flee out one of the side-windows and dash to their parked getaway car which is then trailed by armored police-trucks. This leads to a shootout leading to one armed officer being injured, but the Rascals have no time to explain this mission and have to transport the Goldfinger gems to an Interpol-relations relay-station for intelligence-work and require absolute media-free secrecy regarding their connection to blood-diamond inquiries, so they're actually relieved to discover the shot officer was only temporarily injured later.

RASCALS: Catholic-Protestant 'sectarian hell' in Belfast is economics-based and doesn't need this new blood-diamond formula.

Armed police in Belfast meanwhile have to quell a modest street-riot incited by all this 'excitement' linked to the now heavily-reported Dublin-Belfast train-heist which is being called by a movie-produced in the UK-USA as 'The Last Grain Train Robbery' (an allusion to a Sean Connery film).