Elf of Buffalo Wing

An adaptation of the mod-Xmas gem about a departed Pole-elf who turns out to bring more 'human' charm for wit than his distanced daddy would think (or him!).

A fanfiction of the mod-gem Elf (James Caan). Enjoy! 

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It was Xmas in the American Homeland and a wayward Elf named Amlan Satan decided he wasn't cut-out for elfin toyshop work, feeling delinquent and daydreaming when Santa explained he wasn't an elf at all but an adopted elf after Santa found him left on the doorstep of a poor divorced mother. Now, Elf Satan wanted to visit his long-lost father, Emit, who remarried and was living in a Homeland-Jersey suburbia small town (Echelon). It was Facebook-like!

ELF SATAN: I want to learn all there's about American Xmas, Santa (with Emit).

SANTA: That's...good, buddy...but your father's a stern businessman, you know.

ELF SATAN: Oh, I just have this 'funny' feeling East-Coast Xmas is shine-and-IQ.

SANTA: That's, well, right, but there's lots of glamour and lights for dazzle too.

ELF SATAN: Oh, Santa, you raised me as your own Elf...I won't detour to Hell.

Amlan Satan was now a gas-station worker in the same suburbia-town as Emit and welcomed his long-lost 'pop' (eventually) when Emit stopped for gasoline at a 'royal' establishment for American Homeland conveniences. He greeted his daddy and did his best to look-the-part of a pensive and 'serious' laborious gas-station man, which he found imagery for on social media (e.g., Facebook), wow.

EMIT: I don't care you're an Elf from the Pole, and I don't need a new sonny.

AMLAN: Oh, father Emit...you'll see when I make pasta on Sundays, you smile!

EMIT: Look, friend...your mother (Nina) had found 'good' reason to take-off.

AMLAN: And Santa found me and raised me as his own special North-Elf, Emit!

EMIT: Look...you want a job or something...you can work in my mail-room, ok.

AMLAN: Geez...I've this 'funny' feeling commercial-enterprise will bond for us.

EMIT: Maybe, I like hearing that sort of thing, but I don't believe in Santa!
AMLAN: Everyone likes the Claus, Emit-daddy...it'll be a Facebook-like atlas.

EMIT: Facebook-like.

Wow, Elf Satan (Amlan!) met a gorgeous American women's personals-store Xmas-model (Susan) and decided to marry her and introduced her to Emit who suddenly (somehow!) learned his old-life was being replaced by the 'stranger' charms of family-value. It all happened in a mall, and Amlan persuaded Emit-daddy to visit him in the new home Susan purchased and where he moved into post-marriage, in a town called Buffalo (NY), where Xmas was quite bright and cool. Emit and Amlan still needed some 'extra credit' magic, which is where Santa came into this stage. Follow along.

SANTA: Amlan the ex-elf made this Xmas-shoppers consumerism-parody avatar.

EMIT: Yes, yes, he did...for me/us, um, Santa Claus (ha).

SANTA: He's been lethargic and depressed, but with you, here, he's genius, no?

EMIT: Yes, yes, he has...and you 'think' you're (actually) the Claus.

SANTA: What you believe, Emit-daddy, is (entirely) your own family-photo (ok).

EMIT: Maybe that's sounds-dialysis advice, for the American Homeland (ok).

SANTA: Good fortunes, Emit-daddy...and may ye make for 'discovery' in elves.

EMIT: Good...Facebook-like (um, thanx...Santa?).

SANTA: Merry-Xmas reborn family-man of Buffalo wing(s).

EMIT: Thanx...shopper-dodecahedron (cool).

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)