Football-Phone Check {Elf}

Can a human-child, displaced into the North-Pole and raised as a 'real' Elf, reunite with American Homeland culture and find a NY-life for decimals?

A fanfiction of the mod-Xmas film gem Elf (James Caan), which I think you'll like (and thanks for reading), 

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Amlan Satan had been transported to the North Pole after being left on the footsteps of Santa's abode by Amlan's mummy who discovered Santa's residence was actually a place on Earth, and she couldn't afford to take care of him. Santa didn't tell Mr. Satan he was a human and not an Elf and raised him and trained him to become a toy-workshop elf and then discovered he wasn't really cut-out to be an elf, and when Amlan grew to adulthood, he wondered if he should return to the American Homeland and seek-out his Earth-world parents. Well, Santa knew Amlan Satan's father had become a successful NYC businessman and gave him his dad's address. Amlan departed from the North Pole and decided to reunite with his dad, Emit, in his Selfie-consumerism culture/world of incomplete-lines readings of lifestyle 'linked' bureaucracy-arts.

EMIT: You're an Elf, from Santa's Pole, and mummy left you there; nonsense!

AMLAN: No, no, no...I've found you here in your Buffalo (NY) abode, daddy.

EMIT: My home-away from office-home (NYC), yeah; I live here with Susan!
AMLAN: You're new wife (wow); I'd like to work in your office mail-room (NY).

EMIT: You have no marketable skills, Mr. Amlan Satan (Elf?).

AMLAN: I can learn and just be happy living alongside you, working in NY!

EMIT: Geez...well, you seem to have some sort of Earthling-optimism will.

AMLAN: That's what I'm saying, daddy...I'm (all) Selfie-culture dodecahedrons.

EMIT: I don't know what to say...Buffalo-Xmas season this year's Ego-distances.

AMLAN: Oh, good (Facebook-like).

SUSAN: I got you this special 'field goal' (American Homeland) trophy, Amlan.

AMLAN: Wow, my new mummy got me a Bills-Buffalo football gem (wow).

SUSAN: I'd like to see you become more Earth-world integrated, for Emit!

AMLAN: That's cool...well, I've been getting-on with a mall-Xmas model (Jen).

SUSAN: You should make a life with her, get yourself going, find your life!

AMLAN: Finding this Xmas-NY 'niche' with Emit's been so...discrete, Susan.

SUSAN: Good (Facebook-like).

JEN: I've been a model at this NY-mall (Xmas) for 3 shopping-seasons, pal.

AMLAN: Susan (Emit's new wife) wants me to find an Earthling life (with you?).

JEN: I've been single for some-time...just meet/greet gents at the pub(s), pal.

AMLAN: That's pretty cool...I've been building an American football cards-set.

JEN: Wow, well, yeah, Super Bowl revenue's become a tops-dodecahedron, pal.

AMLAN: We should get married, and I'll make you a card-cyber Xmas-model!

JEN: Sounds funny; guess that would be fun, but marriage...wow.

AMLAN: I've $15million from Santa (wow).

JEN: What...Facebook-like?

Mr. Amlan Satan ('Elf') married Jen and settled into NY and made his special Xmas-season football cards-cyber dioramas for Xmas-spirits, with Jen as his very-special capitalism-angel (wow). He'd converted his North-Pole life as a toy-workshop elf into an American Homeland sportsmanship-windows diplomat of incomplete-lines readings of all that'd become consumerism-magic (ha). He continued to keep in-touch with Susan, Emit's new wife, and though he didn't (completely) reunite with Emit, his 'complete' life in the Earth-world prompted in him special art(s)-dodecahedrons, like his very-special Xmas-consumerism parody-avatar youth-doodle "Evil_Elf" that cast him as something of an 'American-Elf' of everyday life-magic...for field goals.

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)