Blurred

A sense of everything that causes me to see reality at a blur subjectively and objectively

I talk about demons a lot and the many times we have fought 

Many nights of me crying and and the thoughts of me dying 

I stroll in the way of tranquility to be hindered by my wickedness 

 The god of depravity looks into my eyes

When I see the shores of my humanity

 the sky falling down towards me as I feel a sense of longevity in my reality only for it to be twisted what’s left is only apathy 

Worlds collide

Universes impact 

disaster is my eternity

 catastrophe is my divinity I attempt to discover salvation inside my own entropy questioning myself I begin to fall into infinity

I see God when I close my eyes I see my own self-loathing and reflection inside

I feel abandoned embarrassed about the transgressions of my own hands crumbing down into earth I feel nothing but shame for man

I dream of the void staring back at me telling me God has abandoned me 

I hear the lies that people tell me

 hiding behind their disguise leading me to my demise 

I inevitably break with every breath I take

 I see hellfires gate whenever I think about my fate 

I try to love hoping to not be alone

 I look at an empty throne of what would be like to have someone to hold

  I fear I have too much to atone 

I live in fantasies that never last 

so I can recreate memories that I never had 

to just think back so as to perceive what I had 

just for me to lose rest considering all the potential that I could have 

My days are a haze molding into one 

I see my life coming undone 

I gaze at the sun to just observe what I've done 

uniquely to acknowledge there is a whole other world to come

Author's Note

Be as critical as you wish to be, I really grateful to anyone that even reads this