Schizoid I - Abyrdun/School/Holy Circle/Spastic/Lunacy

Schizoid I - Abyrdun/School/Holy Circle/Spastic/Lunacy

A Poem by Abyrdun
"

—Stream of thought work, may not be completely coherent. Themes: Friend Groups, Social Alienation, Online Communities, Education, Positive Disintegration Theory, Discomfort—

"
Schizoid I - 
Abyrdun/School/Holy Circle/Spastic/Lunacy

Consciousness
is a burden to bear
when riddled with guilt,
vision impaired,
Everything fading and
Everything young-
Unsure of anything
but the presence
of our own
bewilderment…
…And the love that
squandered its days
inside colourless classrooms,
starved of passion,
shivering in the shadows
of Holy Moguls,
tail between legs,
damp eyed and
desperate for
the lint
necessary to keep us
awake.
Loner’s loaning laughs
in exchange for more-
smiles to assist in the
illumination
of lunch rooms,
life attracting life
to keep each other
alive.
Detail irrelevant
in recalling
the reverence-
of every roar
of recalled 
reference
and daft
((yet sacred))
anecdotes-
acting as
antidotes to the
mental whirlwind
of razor-bladed,
never sated,
desire for 
"success"…
plastering infantile faces
from day
one.
Wholly aware of the nonsense,
so abundant, astounding, & surrounding
us
every school day.
Attracting more,
the hungry amoeba
driven by
pilgrim teens
wishing to 
fully understand
everyone.
ECSTASY THROUGH LETHARGY!
Virtual selves &
Virtual Friends-
Virtual communities
More Valuable
to us
than virtually
any of those
ignorant of such. 
And You as I,
and I is the
he/she/it
is all,
the single entity
known no longer as
"God"
but
"Love".
Think upon the sacred rooms
and great spiritual figures
we have experienced.
Not Churches,
Nor Christ,
Nor Yahweh,
Nah Way!
Our synagogues are the spare rooms,
where we have drank ourselves blind
and smoked ourselves stupid,
in sweaty and tepid slumber-
Thankful -(though unaware?)
Not for drugs,
Nor movies,
Nor steak,
Nor attempts to bake
our socks on light-bulbs
just for the sake of absurdity,
But the shared experience
and solidarity felt.
The Real Core Happiness,
The Existential Joy of the
Bees in the Ballroom. 
And your limbs are mine,
and mine yours,
steering a spastic
through a rave
on hot coals;
tripping through the faceless potential
that was fully digested
by a great, scaled, furious,
incurious mountain
of gelatinous
idiocy… 
…And WE are the Lunatic.
We are the shaman shaking his rattle
to freeform madness,
making his way through Hell
with an unshifting smile,
planting seeds in the battlefield.
WE are the Lunatic.
We are the lonesome radio host
playing Duran-Duran
post apocalypse,
spouting erratic and bizarre frequency
in a seemingly useless attempt to tune you in again.
WE are the Lunatic. 
YOU are the everyone,
the no-one with hope.
The suit that absolves themselves 
of individual responsibility because
'everyone does'
because YOU were just
'following orders'.
YOU have locked your mind in a casket.
YOU exist only as social context.
YOU are the primitive man
guided near-exclusively by biological impulse.
YOU are the uncriticized  endorsement 
of everyone else.
YOU are the adherence to convention.
YOU are the autonomous coward
who walks in circles forever.
YOU are the one who was cheated.
YOU are the one who deserved more.
and WE are the Lunatic.
10/12/13

© 2013 Abyrdun


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Added on December 10, 2013
Last Updated on December 10, 2013
Tags: Groups, Alienation, Education, Discomfort, Depression

Author

Abyrdun
Abyrdun

Portrush on Ballymoney, County Antrim, Ireland



Writing
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