The Eye Of The Sky

In stellar skies, a beauty thrives
Betwixt a zillion shimmering stars,
But none parallels, that sky's apparel
Whose beauty makes theirs' seem sparse.

With scintillating face, ostentatious grace
They form a mighty swarm in sky.
They come in reds, in blues, in myriad hues
But none defeating that beauteous eye.

And when night draws nigh, she comes by
Scouring the darkness with her light.
Then she twinkles, in me hopes sprinkles
While I behold her splendour in my sight.

In vain, I try to attain
To set myself ablaze in her rapturous flames.
I persuade, but she evades
Beginning to play again her subtle games...

Time 'll sing along, her eternal song
While others mere victims of it's ploy,
She shall long live and then relive
And shall forever be a spring of joy!

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

Some fancy lyrics, nicely done. There's some scavenging work to do.. Clean up the cliches and rectify the prosody, things like that.

Otherwise, I'd say, never write a poem for the rhyme or rhythm.. as Keats says "If a poem wouldn't come as a leaf comes to a tree, it better not come at all".. I would scrap the "better not come at all" part. You can write whenever feel like, but should have the tenacity to edit it in a later time, when the mood and flow of language are better.

Keep writing.