Ununderstood

Not the best sad poem I�ve written� but I had to put my ideas down.

A pale reflection on the surface.

 

of

 

the dusty mirror.

 

Happiness

like still water beneath sunlight.  

 

Hate

like knives, and grins with evil

and emptiness.

 

Sadness

like the song of a violin in darkness.

 

Love

like the fire of hell and the hit of the thunder,

destroying stone like stability.

 

A soul, like closed doors.

 

Eyes deep, and a heart stolen.

 

Helloo???

 

Is there someone before the mirror,

 

With eyes like the enigma of the cosmos, and a soul as lost as

a feather of a canary at the bottom of the ocean?

 

I can feel you … where are you …?

 

The mirror remains still.  

 

 

Reviews

[chord0]

this poem reminded me of a vampire in which his image cannot be seen, therefore he is before the mirror. Eerie feeling, horror poem, by the way have you join the horror group, or entered any of your works in any horror contests?? You also have some good stories for some of those contests here. The only thing I did not like about this poem is perhaps the title, which should be Misunderstood, but even then it does not reflect the message in it.

[Michelle Anselm]

There is a very apparent reaching feeling in these words... and my favorite stanza, which sent a very clear and symbolic message was

"Happiness
like still water beneath sunlight."

It tells me right away but not in blunt words that the subject of the poem cannot leap for joy and be excited, even when the circumstances should make them happy. Very strong, chock full of emotions, though I must say at times the comparisons sounded a tad cliche.

Good work, though! (:

[An owl on the moon]

Such a magical depth to this piece, the reflection of the mirror captures the image and the soul... This is an amazing, moving piece!!!

[Lorraine Pearson]

I feel the disconnection of the soul mourning for alignment with the body that is holding it captive. The poem leaves me aching at the loneliness-- the mirror is only a reflection, and only an image of what is tangible. The soul knows it can live in alignment with the body, it is searching...this search IS the journey--and if embraced, although it feels lonely at times, it can be quite beautiful. Lovely write Adela!
~Lorraiyne

[Emily Rose]

You use some nice metaphors here! You pick good images to match with the emotions you're talking about. However, I think some of them could stand to be expounded on a little more. Why is "happiness like water beneath sunlight?" A little more expansion and imagery could really help to flesh out this poem and make the metaphors even sharper. Well done.

[Thomas James Martin]

I believe this is one of your best. Appreciate the spare, emotional style.
Tom

[Mel Stevens]

Beautiful, artistic imagery. Love the symbolism throughout, and how you never truly end the poem.

were are you
change were to where

Good job.

[Leah Maldonado]

this is so beautiful. With a few words you get a story across perfectly. The reader is still left with question, but an understanding of the perpose of the piece. The way you described love was a really good way to communicate a broken heart.

and a hart stolen.
change hart to heart.

And you had a really good ending. I really like how you related it back to the beginning...it gives a poem an endless feeling.

-Leah

[Ms Jessica Renee]

Such brillant writing you have, there is no denying the talent you have with a spark of creativity. Just simply brilliant.

With Best Wishes and Air Kisses
Jessica Renee

[Emily Elizabeth]

God, you write so beautifully! I'm so envious of the way you craft your words together, such a lovely, poetic way, almost neoclassical in design. This poem is absolutely gorgeous. As usual you use simple but clever imagery to paint an everlasting picture!
The symbolism here is defiant, bold and elegant and graceful. The concept of a mirror is an interesting one, and in it all sides of our personality are reflected, along with our own insecurities and complexities.