The Love Fallacy

Was it love or was it the idea of love?

There are two strings of love. In a nutshell, Two points to carve the dichotomy of scenarios.

Point A- Looking for love.

Human beings were designed to hunt for food and when food became a convenient option, the natural human nature desired the more complex want-Love. Point A is basically the lookout for love, the hunt for love. The state which is generally and conventionally considered a neutral state in love. But actually, the lookout or the hunting process is the real state of love because humans are then seeking the want. It's the same as hunting for food. And the neutral state is same as the state of hunger in the hunt for food scenario.

 
When we are looking for love We know what we want(ie love) but are uncertain of how we want it. 

Generally people confuse the problem of how we want it(love) with who we want(giving rise to the 'ideal partner' fallacy).

So, the real problem which arises in the lookout phase(or the real love phase) is of How to attain it. Not whom to attain. 

Now, how is really just a process. But, the process is really important. Types of processes may be, The lookout process, trying the different options adapting the trial and error method or to scrutinise various events, learn from other's experiences etc. The latter is inconvenient, hence, rare. And has its own pros and cons, Ofcourse.

So, we need to figure out the hunting process to start walking in the path of romantic love.

Point B. The feeding.

Point B comes when the hunt or the lookout for romantic love is over. Now, this is a very complicated state because you never really know either you 'are' in love or you have given up on love. Why do I say given up on love? 

The feeding state comes when the hunter finally settles for a conclusion. Now, the hunter is feeding off the conclusion. But the conclusion in this case is a masquerade. A person always falls in love with an image of another person, the simple reason being the fact that we are never our real self with anyone except ourselves (many a times not even ourselves, since we are a confused race living in chaos) We simply create an image for people. And someone somewhere falls in love with that image. And starts to feed off that image(which is the final conclusion of the hunter).

So, technically we settle for a masquerade of a conclusion and the state which Is generally considered the state of love is actually giving up on love because the hunt isn't over yet and we have settled down for a false conclusion, simply because settling down is convenient and we choose to always opt the convenient.

Hence I conclude, the lookout phase is the state of love and the feeding phase is giving up on love.

So, are you or are you not in love?

Adela Belin is a private educator and a writer at writers per hour. She shares her teaching experience with colleagues, students, and writers.