MY WISH

MY WISH

A Poem by Daniel

Beauty never looks at the face,
But through the heart.
It speaks the word's out of fear,
Only for the heart that know it worth.

Never to give up despite the troubles coming in double,
My heart glows more even when darkness comes,
Ready to see your smiling face.

Even with distance,my connection to you is strong.
One can't say if it's a spell or not.
The sweetness of love filled in my mouth like honey,
Delightful as I have found someone i could keep like treasure.

The sound of your name brings peace,
Your beauty is no match,
When i look at others.

You draw the attention of men,
Just with the calmness of your voice,
Together with your smile so pleasant and cool like the moon,
Intoxicating like an alcohol.

Just a single wish i ask,
Happiness to my heart be granted,
Please don't break my heart .

© 2016 Daniel


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747
Yes, how often we wish only to not be hurt by the ones we hand our heart to.

I saw a couple minor errors; uncapitalized 'I' s, extra/forgotten spaces, minor grammar.

Your phrasing is lovely, giving beautifully clear description. Your poem embraces a touching sentiment that many of us feel, wonderfully done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is awesome. I can feel everything that you are feeling as you are writing. That means you are doing an amazing job! Please keep writing and never stop.

Posted 8 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
747
Yes, how often we wish only to not be hurt by the ones we hand our heart to.

I saw a couple minor errors; uncapitalized 'I' s, extra/forgotten spaces, minor grammar.

Your phrasing is lovely, giving beautifully clear description. Your poem embraces a touching sentiment that many of us feel, wonderfully done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ahhh! the pleading love of beauty within transcending to physical virtues. Men willing to sell their soul for a single kiss and caress only to be left betrayed and heartbroken. {Sometimes}. Thank you, Daniel Richie B.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Daniel

8 Years Ago

Lols Just love beyond beauty

Thank you Richie B.
The poem allows us to the beauty of your words. It shows us, that beauty is not blind. It sees our souls as we grow. The things that is loved, is beauty. Your delicate words have brought the reader to know what they must do to see the beauty. There is always beauty if you look at the delicacy of the woman you love. It is in the heart and soul of each of us. We must eternalize it to see it. The man or woman who does not tickle your heart still has beauty within them.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daniel

8 Years Ago

Thank you Richard Patrick

Everything we love is beautiful despite the shape or size b.. read more
"Just a single wish i ask, Happiness feeling my heart if granted, Please don't break my heart." How true and don't we all wish that when we enter into a relationship. Nicely done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daniel

8 Years Ago

Our wish and prayer is never to be heart broken by those we tend to love, A perfect relationship is .. read more
Daniel

8 Years Ago

Our wish and prayer is never to be heart broken by those we tend to love, A perfect relationship is .. read more
Hi! This is a wonderful poem! The message is heart-warming! I would like to offer some friendly suggestions to improve this nice piece: (Optional)

-'It speaks the word's out of fear...' Should be - '...It speaks the words out of fear...'

-'Delightful as have found someone i could keep like treasure...' Should be '...Delightful as I have found someone I could keep like a treasure...'

-' Happiness feeling my heart if granted,' Should be '...Happiness to my heart be granted..'

Just a suggestion, because I'm a bit of confused in the last second line. Just my thoughts, however, it lies to you my friend. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Daniel

8 Years Ago

I appreciate your constructive idea which will enable me to improve more.

Thank you
TheMalady

8 Years Ago

You're very welcome! Glad to be of service! :)

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6 Reviews
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Added on November 19, 2015
Last Updated on January 17, 2016

Author

Daniel
Daniel

lagos , -, Nigeria



About
I am a young writer with the interest of conversing with experience writer, my poems are base on experience and triggered by the environment i find myself. Am bent on writing from my inner mind bringi.. more..

Writing
THE PEN THE PEN

A Poem by Daniel



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