Admonish-By:Akeen V.

Amazement arises from within this obvious surprise.

Which is intelligence now means to be irrelevant

Those who are such endure stones of negligence,

Being harshly caste by society's precarious hands.

Causing book built shields of resilience,

To protect inside knowledge from outsiders ignorance.

 

Inattentiveness is societies new phase or style, which demands

They indulge within its cobwebbed corridors while knowing;

Nothing remotely enlightening can come forth from them;

In this case their feeble minds have neglected brilliance;

And instead fed upon unimpressive myths for guidance.

 

Like blind sheep into a hungry wolfs den,

Uncanny yet ubiquitous these absent-minded ones,

Accelerate ignorance's rapidly growing appetite,

Incidentally agitating his apparent delight.

 

Until this world comes to an end of days

Stupidity shall receive awarded praise.

As while acknowledgment of intelligence

Gets shunned astray by society's abstinence.

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

100! Perfectly stated. I often look around and wonder how people
could be so easily deceived. Truth in Motion.

[N. An]

The poem reflects the truth that you see, unseen by others as norms lurking in such velvety outfits totally unnoticed, embraced and admired by the feeble minds comprising the society. I believe your writing has great depth with an honest and beautiful expression. Let your eyes stay wide open therefore
and truth be reached to others this exquisite way! =)
Keep up the great work!

[Ruth]

This is wonderful work love!
A potent message! Stupidity is not always seen, I do not rule out myself in that equation either! We are all to blame, all in the firing line of shame! When we wake up?!
Great poem, love it!
xx

[Chilson, Joshua]

I have written about the same just not in such a direct way, I truly enjoyed this piece. This world is slowly fading out those with actual sight, it's saddening to see people lose who they are for trends and a wish to be someone else. So we sit and consume what makes life "Easier", conversations no longer require voice as people wish only to text. All of these things people are ignorant to, I see no feeling or gesture in a conversation that could be held directly. The one thing that gets me, seeing two people text from across a table or sitting in the same room. Anyway, this is a brilliant piece.

[Rory CJ Frankson]

I admired your use of words in context of a somewhat bitter portrayal of the generality of Mankind. It reflects a depth of thought and integrity, it does have elements of poetic rhyme... yet its more like a prose flow which is cool and I use for experimenting with metaphors. This said, as in one stanza you've used three semicolons, Akeen... semicolons, are never used in poetry. Not to be critical only, informative and I hope helpful. Over all I think its a very deep thoughtful piece from a yound writer, with a lot of potential. Write On / Right On... Ro

[An owl on the moon]

Your words speak into our society and culture.. our failures and weaknesses.. and with profound power these metaphors and admonishings call forth a challenge to change. Insightful and voiced brilliantly.

[The Fatal Lover]

This was a pretty good poem. I did enjoy it quite alot. But I had to read it twice to fully understand what it meant. Soon I will read more of your poetry. When I have the time. Great Job! ^_^

[Sweets]

I loved this :)
You have a great vocabulary (:
Good Job ! :D
Keep up the good work, and you'll hopefully succeed :)

[Donald Meikle]

It can however result in rugged individualism
and a mischievous sense of humor

[Miss Coral]

This was an interesting piece, but the style of writing itself felt a bit forced to me. I always find writing that reads like someone is talking much easier to read. It feels natural and... right.
There were a couple of grammatical errors in this, mostly with possessives. I would read through it again, and I'm sure you'll find them.
Like I said, this was interesting, and I enjoyed reading it, but I think it sounds a bit forced.

Nice write though.

-Coral-